Eamonn Campbell

Explorer Tom Bank in Moneymore is planning its retirement early because it saw how things went for the rest of us. It’s a brick landmark that knows its worth better than any accountant. Find the date carved somewhere and tip your hat to the cash machine.

Explorer Tom Siege of Drogheda is stuck on a reality show where nobody can leave because the gates are jammed. Cromwell was having a bad day and everyone else just watched. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom Town defences in Lagavooren were so big that Saint Patrick probably just sighed and walked past them. He’d say, 'I drove out dragons, not this much mud.' Leave nothing but footprints and a bad pun.

Explorer Tom Battlefield near Sheephouse has developed a deep suspicion of the postman, likely due to all the letters never delivered. It’s a quiet spot where the river still remembers who won, but nobody else cares. Have a wander and a wonder.

Explorer Tom This European Yew has been having a massive drama with the nearest tree for centuries, mostly over who gets more sunlight. It’s the ultimate toxic relationship you can see from a mile away. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost.

Explorer Tom Dowth Castle in Dowth has been sitting on that ridge since 1234, looking smug about it. Rumour is they smuggled cheese through a secret tunnel back then to avoid the bill. Stop the car, it’s worth the hazard lights.