Drumtroddan 9

Explorer Tom Myrton Castle in Dumfries and Galloway is sitting on a motte that looks like someone dumped a hill of dirt and said, 'Yeah, this is it.' It’s got that medieval castle vibe but feels more like a very serious rock pile that’s waiting for you to write a bad poem about it. The whole place is just going, 'Make it rhyme,' while the wind tries to blow your voice away. H

Explorer Tom Old Place of Monreith is having a major identity crisis because it’s not sure if it’s a tower house or just a very tall, very old fence post. Its least favourite visitor is definitely anyone who wears sandals, because the mud here has a personal grudge against footwear. It stands there with the dignity of something that knows you’re late for dinner. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket