Dr Wong Fun

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Meadow Lane, General is a street covered in twenty-first-century graffiti that has an imaginary fan club. People are actually taking selfies with the tags as if they’re meeting a celebrity in the flesh. It’s got that chaotic energy where art and mess just blend together beautifully. Have a wander and a wonder.

Explorer Tom The David Hume Tower’s family tree is mostly made up of ghosts who just wanted a place to keep their old hats and philosophical doubts. It stands there tall and proud, pretending none of its relatives are actually wandering the corridors at night. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, University of Edinburgh, George Square: The seagulls in George Square have opinions about this rune-inscribed stone, mostly that it gets in the way of their lunch deliveries. It’s early medieval, so it predates the university by a significant margin and resents being used as décor. If it rains while you’re there, blame me; I’m not apologising.

Explorer Tom Buccleuch Parish Churchyard is secretly proud of one specific potato that grew there in 1750 and tasted like victory. It’s buried under the headstones, looking smug about being a vegetable. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.

Explorer Tom St. Patrick Square Garden claims it’s older than the city itself, which is probably a lie but makes for a great story at parties. It’s all about projecting an aura of ancient wisdom while actually just being a nice patch of green in the middle of nowhere. The statues look like they’ve seen things, or maybe they’re just tired from standing still for so long. Look

Explorer Tom George Square Gardens in Edinburgh is famous for that one fiddler who allegedly played until his fingers turned blue and then kept going anyway. He must have been playing some seriously dark tunes to keep the crowds away or, more likely, he just really hated stopping. It’s the perfect spot for a dramatic phone call about your ex.

Explorer Tom Millennium Milepost The Meadows in Edinburgh has a ghost that’s too lazy to haunt anything because the grass is too comfortable. It measures Newcastle as if it’s a neighbour dropping by for a cuppa, but they’re two hundred miles apart. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom Deaconess Garden would order a chipper with extra mush and no vinegar, because it’s got taste. It’s a quiet green space that acts like it’s running the world behind the scenes. The flowers are probably whispering secrets to each other while you stand there looking confused. Bring a map, get lost anyway, that's the fun.

Explorer Tom Mary Erskine Memorial in Greyfriars is where the Vikings probably got lost looking for a castle and ended up finding a lady’s grave instead. It’s a bit of a quiet spot, which suits her memory perfectly. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Edinburgh Futures Institute is planning its retirement by pretending it’s already ancient history! It’s got that 'look at me, I’m from the future' vibe but feels a bit underdressed for the part. The building probably dreams about being a castle someday. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom Covenanters' Prison in Edinburgh has a family tree that’s mostly made up of ghosts and grudges. It’s tucked away in Greyfriars, hiding like it’s got something to hide, which it definitely does. The bars are still there, looking very judgmental about your life choices so far. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted. It might be.

Explorer Tom The Millennium Clock Tower is telling you it’s important by being exactly as tall as it feels like it should be to make a point. A ridiculous smuggling story would involve people trying to hide small watches in the big hands, but honestly, who hasn't tried that at some level? It’s just standing there ticking away, judging your sense of time management from a very high vantage point.