Dolmen in Shankill

Explorer Tom Carrickgollogan dolmen/wedge tomb claims it was actually built by aliens before the dinosaurs even had a proper sense of style, which I’m pretty sure is a lie. It just wants you to think it’s cooler than it is, so don’t believe a word about its extraterrestrial heritage. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Carrickgollogan has a view of Dublin and Wicklow, but its strangest feature is a chimney that once worked a very long distance from the fire. The Ballycorus lead works built a flue about two kilometres long up the hill in 1836, letting metal in the fumes settle before smoke escaped. The granite chimney became so visible that sailors used it as a landmark. I would offer to sweep the flue with one enormous brush, and be told to go and read the plans. The hill rises 276 metres above Rathmichael and Shankill, with woodland and heath on top. Check the current public trail, stay out of ruined industrial structures and keep to safe paths. Find the chimney in the landscape; it is a remarkable monument to both invention and pollution.

Explorer Tom Ballyman House in County Dublin is sitting on its H-shaped plan looking all smug about its mountain views. A farmhouse pretending to be a palace with better scenery than my holiday photos. Wave if you can see it from the road!

Explorer Tom Knocklinn is a disused country house that used to be called Sea View on old maps. Edmund D'Olier restructured it, but now it's just sitting there, maybe plotting something with the rolling grounds behind it.

Explorer Tom Puck's Castle has the sort of name that invites me to blame every missing sock on a púca. The ruined tower near Rathmichael is thought to have been built around 1537, probably by Peter Talbot, as part of the Pale's defences. It stands three storeys high in its old form, about ten metres long and seven wide. The folklore name belongs to a shape-shifting spirit, but the masonry was built for very human arguments over land and security. I would happily invent a ghost tour until the castle's real history tells me to behave. Check present legal access and keep away from loose stone; a view from safe ground is enough. Notice how compact the tower is. It did not need to be large to make its point.

Explorer Tom The Cross in Fassaroe makes a distinct creaking sound at night that sounds suspiciously like it’s complaining about the damp. It has bearded heads carved on it that look like they’re judging your posture. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Stone Pine in County Wicklow nearly made the news when someone thought it was a rare species, but it turned out to be just a really good-looking pine. It’s been waiting for its moment of fame, maybe wearing a little hat, but nothing has happened yet. It’s got that 'I’m special' energy even though it’s just standing there doing its job. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom European Yew in County Wicklow has a massive ongoing argument with the nearest oak about who looks better in the wind. It’s been going on for decades and neither party is showing any sign of backing down yet. If it's closed, admire it from the road like a polite stalker.