Dog's Cave

Explorer Tom Ashford Castle’s gate lodge is suspicious of the postman because he never tips in carved stone. It’s got that dramatic archway looking like it expects a carriage any second. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat to get a nod.

Explorer Tom The Forge in Creggaree has a horseshoe entrance that looks like a giant smiley face made of stone. There’s a bird living there who refuses to leave, despite the soot and the very old smell of hot metal. Ideal spot for a dramatic pose while pretending you understand blacksmithing completely.

Explorer Tom The Quiet Man Museum lets me step into a cottage from a film and pretend I could last a scene opposite Maureen O'Hara. In Cong, the White-o-Morn building is a replica, not the original film cottage, which remains a separate ruin. Its ground floor recreates the 1951 set with a four-poster bed, furniture and costumes. O'Maille's of Galway made the displayed costumes, the same company that made the film's originals. Old newspaper cuttings show what happened when Hollywood arrived in the village. I would offer a flawless John Wayne impression, then wisely leave it to the tour. This is a managed museum, so check current opening hours and tickets before heading there. Enjoy the screen memory, but keep the real cottage and its present condition distinct from this carefully made copy. The distinction makes both stories more interesting.

Explorer Tom European Yew has been hiding a scandal where it accidentally poisoned a local farmer in 1890 and never told anyone. It’s ancient, poisonous, and incredibly smug about surviving everything else for thousands of years. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Cong Abbey gives you a king, a famous cross and a medieval fishing trick. I arrived with a sandwich and immediately felt underprepared. Ruaidrí Ua Conchobair, often called Ireland's last High King, spent his final fifteen years here and died in 1198. The surviving abbey buildings are mainly thirteenth century, with carved doorways worth more than my quick glance. Its last nominal abbot, Patrick Prendergast, kept the Cross of Cong safe until he died in 1829; the cross later went to the Royal Irish Academy. By the River Cong, the monks' little fishing house sits above flowing water, with a floor trapdoor said to have helped keep fish fresh. I would still manage to lose my lunch there. The abbey is a national monument with outdoor remains; follow current access signs and take care near the water and old masonry. Look for the fishing house after the church, and give those practical monks their due.

Explorer Tom Silver Fir in County Galway is standing there acting like it invented the concept of looking mysterious. Apparently, if you don’t wave hello, a curse strikes you with intense boredom and dry socks. Wave fast before your dignity hits the dirt.

Explorer Tom Stone Circle in Glebe (kilmaine By.) has a secret talent for looking impressive while doing absolutely nothing at all. It sits on a rise and judges your parking skills from afar. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.