Dixon Park

Explorer Tom Larne Town Hall has clocks that are sick of being asked if they're fast, slow, or just confused. It's been standing there since the 1860s judging everyone's fashion choices from the top floor with unblinking indifference. Pack a picnic and an excuse for why you're really here.

Explorer Tom Ulster Bank in Town Parks, County Antrim, employed a matchmaker who successfully paired off half the town’s bachelors from her desk. She did it all while balancing ledgers and ignoring anyone who wasn’t serious about love. Bring your absolute worst joke because this place has definitely heard worse.

Explorer Tom Larne War Memorial is stuck in a feud with two local families over who has the best view of the sea from their porch. It stands there dignified and quiet while the wind tries to blow it over, but it’s got more stubbornness than most people I know. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom MV Princess Victoria Memorial in County Antrim stands where a ship sank because the weather was having a bad day and decided to be mean about it. The prophecy said it would float back up for tea, but it never did. Best visited with a curious kid and no timetable.

Explorer Tom Olderfleet Castle in County Antrim would review its visitors as 'adequate' if it had a star rating system. The Bisset family built it in the thirteenth century, so it’s seen everything from plague to bad haircuts, yet it still looks like it’s judging your footwear choice. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice.

Explorer Tom Olderfleet Castle in Curran is also known as the Curran Castle, which sounds like a bet two lads made in the pub that nobody settled. It’s late medieval and probably full of stories about who owed whom money. Dare you to say hello to it out loud and see if it answers back.

Explorer Tom Lime Kiln has a tombstone inscription that would just say 'I was hot and now I'm not,' which feels pretty accurate for its current state of being. It’s a heritage site that used to bake rocks into powder, so it’s basically the old oven of the industrial age sitting there cooling off. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.

Explorer Tom Browns bay walk smells like wet sand, regret, and maybe a bit of old fish if you get the wind right, which Tom says is the honest scent. It’s a beach that gets buried in wind-blown sand during winter northerlies, turning into a dune field that eats your shoes for breakfast. Pack a picnic and an excuse.

Explorer Tom Garden Trail has a serious grudge against the road that leads to it because it thinks the cars are too noisy and rude. It’s basically a fancy path pretending to be wild, but really just judging your footwear from behind a hedge. Tell the kids it's a castle. Close enough.

Explorer Tom Swan Island was the site of a ridiculous smuggling story involving cheese and a very confused goat. The smugglers hid the wheels in a hollow tree, but the goat ate them all. Now it’s just an island with a reputation for bad logistics. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom Ballygalley Head would write on its dating profile: 'Volcanic plug, loves height, no drama, but I do have a bit of an edge.' It’s basically a rock with a chip on its shoulder and a view to prove it. A handy spot to stretch your legs and your imagination.

Explorer Tom Battle site, 1315: battle of mounthill in Altilevelly, Ballyrickard, Ballyvern, Beg, Browndod is where history got messy. Two armies crashed and nobody cleaned up the mess for centuries. Practise your Irish on it, it won't correct you.