Darren Cave

Explorer Tom Rollo House in Holywood is an office now, which feels like putting a suit on a dinosaur. There was a prophecy about it becoming famous that never happened, so it’s just sitting there moping. Spot the oldest stone you can see and give it a cool name right now.

Explorer Tom Church: Holywood priory in Ballykeel is locked tight, hiding some scandal from centuries ago. The roof went, but the drama stayed behind like a stubborn stain. Tell the kids it’s a castle. It’s close enough to get them excited.

Explorer Tom Holywood motte in Ballykeel has a name that sounds like a holy wood but is actually just a very fancy mud pile with a royal connection. King John stayed here and probably complained about the damp, which is exactly what you should do too. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom In grateful memory of the men of Holywood and District could win a county fair just by standing there looking dignified in the middle of everything. Count the crows on top of it once, then count them again to see if they moved.

Explorer Tom Glenlyon Park swears by a superstition that if you step on three dead leaves in a row, you’ll find forty pence in your pocket. I haven’t tested it yet because I’m too cheap to buy my own luck, but the locals are very serious about it. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom North Down Coastal Path has a dating profile that says 'likes long walks and short answers,' which is pretty accurate for most of its sections. It follows Sea Front Road at Cultra, giving you a nice view without asking for too much effort. Best visited with a curious kid and no timetable.

Explorer Tom Redburn Country Park in County Down is claimed by one local who says he invented the concept of 'park' after seeing a dog sit down and refuse to move. He’s been defending this idea against historians ever since, winning arguments with pure confidence and a bad hat. A handy spot to stretch your legs and your imagination.

Explorer Tom Ulster Transport Museum in County Down is full of old buses and trams that probably run on spite and stale bread. There’s a bird that refuses to leave the DeLorean parked inside, acting like it has permanent residency rights and a valid parking permit. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom Ulster Folk and Transport Museum in County Down combines old houses with old vehicles, which is like mixing your grandma’s china with your dad’s broken lawnmower. It has this secret talent for making you feel like you’re the only smart person in the room while you look at a tractor. Bring curiosity, leave with a better story than mine.

Explorer Tom Window on Wildlife is next to an airport road, so the wildlife has to shout to be heard over the planes. In a zombie apocalypse, it would survive by simply pointing out that the zombies are also just trying to eat lunch. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom Dundonald Moat is probably rolling its eyes at the local sheep who keep using it as a personal playground, which is frankly disrespectful to its ancient dignity. It’s standing there looking slightly damp and very unimpressed by everyone’s attempts to take a serious selfie. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom Knock Burial Ground in County Down was where a priest lost a bet on who could yawn first, and the loser still hasn’t stopped. He’s been there since Tuesday. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.