Daniel McGettigan

Explorer Tom Stella Maris Catholic Church has a least favourite visitor: anyone who thinks Modernist architecture is boring, which is a bold choice to make in front of this chapel. It ditched the traditional stuff for clean lines and square heads, proving that even churches can have an attitude about their shape. Ten minutes of awe.

Explorer Tom Beach Hotel in County Donegal is right by the beach, which means sand everywhere, including in places you didn't know existed. Pack a vacuum cleaner just to be safe. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check your papers here.

Explorer Tom Downings gets to sit snug in Sheephaven Bay while Rosguill takes the Atlantic full in the face. I can almost hear the peninsula boasting about the arrangement. Donegal tourism lists windsurfing here, though the wind gets the final say on any plans for the water.

Explorer Tom Scoil Náisiúnta Doire Chasáin is a former national school from 1902 that has swapped chalkboards for carpets. Those original timber sliding sash windows still stare out from what is now a private dwelling, looking slightly confused about the change of curriculum.

Explorer Tom McNutts Coffee House might be vacant, but McNutts of Downings are still trading around the corner as a woollen mill. Take a pic of the empty room and tell them Tom was there, looking suspiciously confused by the silence. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom Mevagh High Cross is a stark, undecorated slab standing in the graveyard of a ruined medieval church. It’s simple and unadorned, which makes it feel like a quiet guardian overlooking the steep drop to Mulroy Bay. No fancy patterns here, just raw stone and history.

Explorer Tom Cliffs at Lamb's Island are the kind of cliff that would be the best man at a wedding, standing stiffly in the back while everyone else cries and laughs and spills wine everywhere. It just stands there looking dignified, wondering why anyone needs such a big fuss for what is basically two people agreeing to share a sofa. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Cliffs north of Downies are having a massive drama with the nearest tree, arguing about who looks better in the sunset, which is peak Donegal energy right there. The cliff thinks the tree is showing off, but honestly, the wind has them both looking like a messy hairdo. Go now, before it gets famous.

Explorer Tom Rosses Strand is a beach where the waves at low tide are barely a foot high, which is basically the ocean taking a nap and pretending to be working hard. It would tell its younger self to stop trying so hard and just enjoy being a gentle lapping sound all day long. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next.

Explorer Tom Clonmass Island in County Donegal was designed by a mother-in-law who wanted to make sure nobody could get comfortable there. It sits right next to Little Isle, acting like the strict older sister of the whole bay. Spot the oldest stone on the beach and give it a proper name.

Explorer Tom Cnoc na Sleá means 'hill of the spear', though I would leave any spear firmly in the name. The guide also calls this small Donegal hill Crocknasleigh and points out its older Irish spelling. One hill, two ways to say it, and a very pointed name.

Explorer Tom The Murder Hole would cope perfectly on a reality show by hiding in the corner and pretending the camera crew wasn’t there. It thinks its dark reputation is just great marketing and refuses to do any actual work or make eye contact with anyone. Spot the oldest stone and give it a silly name, because that’s what you should do.