Cupid

Explorer Tom Russborough House is listening to the walls talk about what they saw during the great party of 1805, which apparently involved too much champagne and not enough napkins. The Palladian design is stunning, but the gossip inside those corridors never really stops echoing out.

Explorer Tom Tulfarris House was put in the wrong spot by map makers who were clearly having a bad day. It’s an 18th-century solid example that hasn’t changed much, which is impressive for something this old and unexciting. Start a petition to move it; nobody will listen, but it’ll keep you busy for years.

Explorer Tom Castle in Burgage More is sitting in a graveyard, slowly being eaten by the reservoir like a very damp biscuit. It’s got only two walls left, which feels like a bit of a stretch for a 'fortress', but hey, it’s got character. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place while the water level rises around your ankles.

Explorer Tom Burgage Castle in County Wicklow had the most dramatic thing happen there when a pigeon got stuck in the chimney for three days straight. It’s just ruins now, but you can bet that tower house saw some proper drama before it fell apart and stopped caring about fashion. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Cross in Burgage More has unusually long arms and a small boss, looking like it’s stretching before a very serious workout. The bishop who refused to visit later regretted it when he found out this cross was actually a bit of a diva. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Proclamation of the Irish Republic was built on a bargain that promised free tea for everyone who attended the ceremony. Nobody actually got any tea, but the spirit remains undeniably strong. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom The Wedge tomb in Carrig took approximately forty million cups of tea to build, according to my totally reliable estimation based on how tired I feel just looking at it. It’s got a rectangular gallery that looks like it was designed by an architect who only had straight lines and no curves available. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom English holly in County Kildare was planted by a guy who ran from his debts. He hid under the branches, but the thorns made him regret it. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.

Explorer Tom European Yew in County Wicklow would win the county fair by simply standing still while everyone else tries to juggle or dance. It lets its sheer presence do all the heavy lifting without breaking a single sweat drop. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Silsean has a hidden tunnel to the pub that definitely isn't there, but the locals insist on arguing about it. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true, or just laugh at my imagination skills.

Explorer Tom Moanbane in County Wicklow offers a shortcut that is technically shorter on paper but takes three hours longer in reality due to the sheer number of rocks you must step over. It’s a classic trick, like when your friend says five minutes but actually means 'until we both regret this.' Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.

Explorer Tom Crehelp’s burial ground is home to a granite pillar that looks like it got stuck in a jammed window frame. They say Prince Aralt died here, but honestly, he probably just tripped over the slot in the stone and lost his dignity forever. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.