Cross in Clonegall

Explorer Tom Saint Fiacc's Church (Moyacomb) in Clonegall is wearing crenellations like a medieval knight who got lost on the way to the office party. It sits in an early Christian churchyard, probably judging your parking job from 1819. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Saint Brigid's Catholic Church in Clonegall has a reredos that looks like it was decorated by a very confused Victorian interior designer. If it's closed, admire it from the road like a polite stalker with a camera and bad manners.

Explorer Tom Common Lime tree is just a big green bush that thinks it’s fancy because it has heritage status. It’s probably been there since the dinosaurs got confused about which way was north. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place until someone kicks you out.

Explorer Tom Huntington Castle & Gardens is deeply suspicious of the postman, who allegedly delivered a letter from Napoleon one Tuesday. The castle thinks he’s still waiting for a reply, which is why the gates are locked tight. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom This European Yew in County Carlow is watching that ditch where the poet allegedly fell in. He probably tripped over his own ego. Go before the tourists find out and start selling 'Poet's Trip' t-shirts.

Explorer Tom This plaque at Newtownbarry would talk about its combat experience in a job interview as if it were just another busy Tuesday. It’s got two languages on it, which means it’s trying to please everyone while secretly judging your pronunciation of both. Get there early and have it all to yourself.

Explorer Tom Toberrananan is two wells with drystone surrounds, and one had a tree planted over it. That tree was older than most of our problems. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it later.

Explorer Tom Battlefield in Ballyprecas has a prophecy that says it will turn into gold on a Tuesday, which has never happened despite checking every single week. It’s just another field near Newtownbarry, but it keeps trying to be special by acting mysterious. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom Labbanasighe in Moylisha, County Wicklow is playing hide-and-seek with me. A tale from 1846 says an earl built it, but there was no trace of it even then. Take a picture for me if you pass!

Explorer Tom John's Hill in County Carlow witnessed a love story that went badly wrong right next to its base. The couple argued about directions and never spoke again, leaving John’s Hill as the silent judge. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on to the next.

Explorer Tom Altamont Gardens Map in County Carlow would bring its own compass to a party and still get lost. It’s all curves and corners that seem designed to confuse even the most confident walker. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom Greenoge in County Carlow gave up its greenest patches for Lent because it felt like they were too showy. Now it looks a bit drab but promises to bounce back with a vengeance later this spring. Go back in winter, it's a different animal.