Cross in Cong North

Explorer Tom Quiet Man Statue is giving me the silent treatment, which is ironic considering the name. He looks like he’s waiting for someone to tell him he can stop posing now. I bet he’s been here so long he’s got a permanent squint from the wind. You’d think he’d have said something by now, but no, just stone silence. Whisper a secret at it, it's kept worse.

Explorer Tom Court house in Cong North looks like a cottage that went to a fancy dress party and dressed as a castle. It’s got that 'medieval' Gothic theme with slender openings and sparrow-pecked dressings, which is a lot of drama for a petty sessions house. I bet the judge had to wear a wig just to feel tall enough. Keep your distance and mind your manners!

Explorer Tom Bridge in Cong North is tied to a giant’s legend. Apparently, he sneezed and built the arch by accident. It was part of a canal that never worked. Go at sunset and thank the giant for his sneeze, politely.

Explorer Tom Cong Abbey gives you a king, a famous cross and a medieval fishing trick. I arrived with a sandwich and immediately felt underprepared. Ruaidrí Ua Conchobair, often called Ireland's last High King, spent his final fifteen years here and died in 1198. The surviving abbey buildings are mainly thirteenth century, with carved doorways worth more than my quick glance. Its last nominal abbot, Patrick Prendergast, kept the Cross of Cong safe until he died in 1829; the cross later went to the Royal Irish Academy. By the River Cong, the monks' little fishing house sits above flowing water, with a floor trapdoor said to have helped keep fish fresh. I would still manage to lose my lunch there. The abbey is a national monument with outdoor remains; follow current access signs and take care near the water and old masonry. Look for the fishing house after the church, and give those practical monks their due.

Explorer Tom European Yew has been hiding a scandal where it accidentally poisoned a local farmer in 1890 and never told anyone. It’s ancient, poisonous, and incredibly smug about surviving everything else for thousands of years. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Silver Fir in County Galway is standing there acting like it invented the concept of looking mysterious. Apparently, if you don’t wave hello, a curse strikes you with intense boredom and dry socks. Wave fast before your dignity hits the dirt.

Explorer Tom Stone Circle in Glebe (kilmaine By.) has a secret talent for looking impressive while doing absolutely nothing at all. It sits on a rise and judges your parking skills from afar. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.