Craigoch Burn

Explorer Tom Marslauch would describe itself as a 'chill tower house with excellent views and zero interest in small talk.' It’s got that medieval ruggedness but also the vibe of someone who just wants to be left alone to think about nothing in particular. The name sounds like a sneeze caught in a thimble, which fits perfectly. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom Balwherrie is a medieval manor house where a poet once fell in the nearby ditch and claimed it was part of his artistic process, which I doubt. It’s still standing, though, which is more than you can say for that poor fellow’s dignity or his shoes. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Little Glengyre has so many Bronze Age bits that it feels like a hoarder’s den of history. Someone smuggled a whole load of axes and urns there, probably to impress their mate. It’s cluttered with ancient stuff in the nicest way. Have a look and decide if I was lying.

Explorer Tom Wierston in Dumfries and Galloway claims to be a farmstead, but it’s definitely got a twin across the sea that does all the real work. This one is just the lazy copy sitting in the mud pretending to have a heritage story. It’s probably plotting something with the local gulls right now. Whisper a secret at it, it's kept worse.

Explorer Tom This other Kirkcolm spot is stacked with flint tools and microliths that are tiny but mighty. It’s like a miniature workshop where someone was really into precision cutting ages ago. The nettles are definitely the real security guards here. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Lochnaw Castle would survive a zombie attack by simply locking the door and pretending nobody was home for the next hundred years. It’s a medieval tower house that knows exactly how to use its narrow windows as defensive advantages against the undead horde. I bet it has a secret stash of biscuits hidden in the walls for emergencies. Tell the kids