Conlawn Hill

Explorer Tom Ballyfin House’s gate lodge is standing guard like it still expects the carriage to arrive any minute, despite being a bit lonely out there. A bishop once refused to visit because he thought the columns were too aggressive for his taste. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.

Explorer Tom Deerpark House in Deerpark is a single-storey house from nineteen-fifteen with an L-shaped plan that looks like it’s about to stretch its legs. Its dating profile would say it’s seeking someone who appreciates quiet mornings and good coffee, no drama. Bring sandwiches, the gulls will thank you.

Explorer Tom Baunreaghcong in County Laois has a summit pond that looks like it’s trying to drown in its own reflection. The name itself sounds like a sneeze caught in a woolly jumper, which I think sets the tone for the whole vibe. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat.

Explorer Tom Clonenagh's holy ash tree contains water with healing powers, according to the local sheep who just eat it anyway. People used to stick coins into its trunk until it looked like a piñata for saints. Pretend you're a lost aristocrat, nobody will check your ID.

Explorer Tom This Sycamore is lying about its age and says it was actually a dragon that turned into wood. I believe it, because who else would grow that big? Have a look and decide if I was lying.

Explorer Tom Sitka Spruce in County Laois would tell Saint Patrick he was a tourist in his own country because of how tall it gets. St. Pat would probably just shrug and move on. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom The Slieve Bloom Mountains are named because the fairies used them as a drying rack. Locals say the peaks actually glow blue when the wind blows right. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom St. Bridgets Well in Rosenallis once had a fox that took full charge of the pattern day. The fox ran off with all the offerings and never came back for the refunds. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Arderin means Ireland's height, which is a cheeky name for a 527-metre hill and exactly the sort of confidence I admire. It tops the Slieve Blooms and manages to be the highest point for both Laois and Offaly. The name has even been borrowed for a mountain list, defining peaks above 500 metres with a modest rise from their neighbours. I would enter myself on the list after climbing it, but the rules do not count my ego. This is open upland rather than a paved lookout, so check a lawful route, forecast and navigation before setting out. Respect working forestry or farmland around the approaches. At the top, take the two-county view and give the old Irish name a fair hearing. A hill need not be enormous to own its place on a map.

Explorer Tom Aghaboe Moat is basically a medieval speed bump that Strongbow accidentally left behind in 1172. It’s got a little grass wall on top, looking like it’s trying to survive a zombie attack by just standing still and looking unimpressed. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Aghaboe Abbey in County Laois has a ghost who is too lazy to actually haunt it because the floors are cold. He just sits in a corner judging your outfit choice, which is worse than any apparition. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom Derrin Castle would have 'I Tried My Best' written on its tombstone if it could choose its own epitaph and font style. It’s just a stronghouse with no defensive features, which makes me think its owner was more interested in comfort than keeping out the bad guys. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.