Conhuith Plantation

Explorer Tom Kirconnell Merse is a drain that took forty cups of tea to build, if you ask me. It’s just a ditch, but it pretends to be very important. You can rehearse your late excuses right here by the water. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Carruchan is an unassigned period enclosure where a poet once fell in a ditch nearby and claimed it was part of his artistic process. The grassland looks suspiciously smug about the whole thing, like it knew exactly how that would end. Ideal for a moody photo you'll pretend wasn't posed.

Explorer Tom Laghall is a post-medieval house in Dumfries and Galloway where a legendary matchmaker once worked out of the pantry without a single proper desk or chair. She paired off locals by throwing pies until someone caught one, which was apparently considered a very strong sign of compatibility back then. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Park Farmhouse on Park Road is stuck in a time loop where nobody can agree on when it was built. If it had to teach history, it would just shrug and point at the roof and say 'look at this.' It’s an unassigned farmhouse that refuses to grow up or give up its secrets. Best visited with a curious kid and no timetable.