Colonel's Grove

Explorer Tom Blandsfort House in Rahanavannagh claims to have an imaginary twin across the sea. I’d believe it if I didn’t know how much it loves showing off its 1792 stable complex. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom Glenbrook in Ballyroan would complain to the council about the lack of parking for vicars. It’s been a glebe house since 1820 and still acts like it. Tell it a joke, it's been a long time since anyone did.

Explorer Tom This blackthorn has a prophecy that it will turn into gold if you tickle it, which has never once happened in four hundred years. It’s just a thorny little show-off. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom European Beech claims it survived a storm that flattened half the neighbourhood, which is probably true or maybe just bragging. It stands tall and smug while the wind throws a tantrum. Hum something sad nearby, it adds atmosphere.

Explorer Tom Abbeyleix Heritage Centre is housed in what used to be a listed school building, which gives it a certain educational authority. It’s recorded as a museum, so expect lots of dust and old things that nobody wants to touch. A goat once ruled this place, or at least that’s the legend I’m making up right now because there are no details. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Heywood Gardens would bring a very fancy hat and a bad attitude to any party it attended. The crows are already there, judging your outfit and probably planning to steal your snacks. Count the crows, then count again.

Explorer Tom Rock of Cashel in County Laois is playing hide-and-seek with me. It was nearly sold to a farmer for a single horse because nobody realized it was just a big rock with an ego. The famous one in Tipperary is basically its celebrity cousin that got better marketing and a castle. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me.

Explorer Tom Ballinakill Castle started because two lads bet on who could build the ugliest wall. It got destroyed, rebuilt, and ignored, but still stands its ground. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.

Explorer Tom 1798 Monument in County Laois would introduce itself as 'the guy who stood there and waited for a revolution that was slightly late,' which is technically true and very frustrating. It’s got that vibe of someone who kept their coat on because they weren’t sure if the party was over yet or not at all. If it rains, blame me.

Explorer Tom Timahoe Round Tower is an exhibitionist figure standing out in the open, showing off its Romanesque details to everyone. Two families are fighting over who owns the view from up there. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.

Explorer Tom Timahoe Church and Round Tower in County Laois has a legend about a giant who tried to move it and slipped on a pie. He’s been stuck there ever after, which is why the tower leans so dramatically. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me anyway.

Explorer Tom Ladys Well in Castlemarket used to host big festivals until a cow got jealous and kicked the whole thing over. Now it’s just a grate guarding some very ordinary water. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.