Cogrie Schoolhouse

Explorer Tom Kinnelhall Burn is basically a quarry that has given up on its career and now just wants a nap. It claims a dog named Buster is in charge, which I believe completely because dogs are better managers than most people. The rocks look tired but they definitely have strong opinions about the local weather. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Kinnelhall in Dumfries and Galloway is a medieval enclosure that thinks it’s a shortcut. It’s really just a long way round with extra steps, designed by someone who hated you personally. The gate looks like it hasn't been opened since the Reformation, which is promising. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits.

Explorer Tom St Ann's Sawmill is sick of people asking if it still cuts wood, as if it hasn’t been resting for centuries just to prove a point. It wants you to know it’s not dead, just napping with one eye open, waiting for the right moment to saw something dramatic. It’s got that 'don’t wake me up' energy mixed with a secret desire for action and noise. Go back in winter

Explorer Tom Raehills nearly made the news once when a sheep wandered in and decided to sit on the mound like it was a throne. It’s an earthwork with no known date, so who knows if it’s medieval or just a pile of dirt that got tired? The road nearby is tiny, perfect for getting lost on purpose while pretending you’re on a grand adventure. Bring a flask

Explorer Tom Boreland is where a poet once fell in a ditch and wrote a masterpiece about mud. It stands there with a smug look, knowing it inspired at least one bad song. The earthworks are basically its bodyguard, keeping things looking very official. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Lochwood Castle is bragging about surviving a storm that probably just blew over a leaf. It’s a castle that acts like it’s been through war, when it’s really just had a damp winter. This structure stands there with its chin up, claiming glory for weather that any decent umbrella could handle. Pick a stone, any stone, and invent its biography.