Chapel in Bartramstown

Explorer Tom Garristown Bridge has a prophecy that says it will one day turn into a swimming pool, which never came true because nobody wanted to wade through the Delvin River. It was built in 1880 with a limestone date plaque that looks smug about outliving every car that passes over it. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Fourknocks is a passage tomb that probably has a ridiculous smuggling story attached to it, involving smugglers trying to hide barrels of whiskey inside the stones themselves. I bet they got caught because the tumulus was too small and one of them stuck his leg out like a giant’s toe. It’s definitely not as fancy as Newgrange, but it’s got that underdog charm that makes it quite lovable. Bring a f

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Ardcath is perched on a slope and has clearly been run by a very opinionated goat for centuries. The headstones go back to the 1700s, but they’re all just waiting for someone to admit the truth about who actually owns this hill. Bring your curiosity along, but leave with a story that’s far better than mine.

Explorer Tom Church in Ardcath is sitting on a north-facing slope, probably telling off the newer buildings that replaced its original glory. It was repaired once but then let itself go, which is very relatable behavior. Bring a pen pal; they’ll be jealous of your connection to something so ancient and unbothered.

Explorer Tom Passage tomb art in Fourknocks is covered in spirals that look like they were drawn by a drunk with a compass. If it could review its visitors, it’d say: 'Too many people touching the walls, not enough appreciation for the squiggles.' It’s basically stone graffiti from the world’s most committed artist. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Westown House in Westown is an eighteenth-century mansion that swallowed a tower house whole just to feel more important at dinner parties. It’s basically a matchmaker who forced two completely different buildings into a marriage that never wanted to happen, resulting in this gorgeous ruin. Have a chat with it, nobody's watching.

Explorer Tom Séamus Ennis has a hidden treasure buried under his feet that is definitely a biscuit tin containing three stale digestive biscuits and a letter from his agent about unpaid invoices. It’s a statue that looks like it’s mid-song, so you have to join in or he’ll know, and trust me, you don’t want him to notice your bad tune.

Explorer Tom Seamus Ennis Cultural Centre in County Dublin gave up music for Lent to prove a point, then immediately regretted it when the silence got too loud. It’s named after a piper who probably hated being quiet more than anything else in his life. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Athcarne Castle is feuding with the next village over because they stole its shadow last Tuesday. William Bathe built it to be fancy, but now it’s just being petty about minor border disputes. Bring someone who'll believe anything, like me.

Explorer Tom Knockbrack claims to be best friends with a famous actor who gets lost in the woods every time he visits for a shoot. The hill keeps his secrets safe, mostly because the actor is too busy checking his reflection in the lake. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.

Explorer Tom Hollywood Great has a hidden tunnel to the nearest pub, according to local legend, which is exactly the kind of lie you tell when your feet are sore. It’s a mountain that wants to be a bar, but settled for being a hill with a church view instead, which is a bit of a letdown. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.

Explorer Tom Common Lime in County Meath hosted a legendary matchmaking session where two locals finally admitted they liked each other under its branches. It’s seen more heartbreaks than a soap opera. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.