Central Square

Explorer Tom The Wool Store at North Wall Quay used to keep horses on the ground floor. Yes, actual stables next to the railway! It’s got a loading bay that looks like it swallowed a whale. Great start for your industrial adventure, mate.

Explorer Tom Cié Goods Depot at North Wall Quay started as a mail station but ended up moving troops during WWI. It’s now just an office, which is a letdown for the drama. It would tell the replacement place to take notes. Nod respectfully.

Explorer Tom The Convention Centre Dublin in County Dublin would tell its younger self to stop worrying about the leaky roof and start charging people for the view of the rain instead. It’s got that massive concrete energy, like it’s trying to be a cathedral but forgot to build the altar and just left the conference rooms and the bad coffee instead. Wave at the cows, they're the real locals.

Explorer Tom Samuel Beckett Bridge in County Dublin is where the map makers got completely confused about which side was actually the front. It looks like a giant spider waiting to catch a fly, not a bridge. Walk past slowly like you're in a dramatic film scene.

Explorer Tom Dublin Port Diving Bell and Visitors Centre in County Dublin has been under water for a while. It used to be in use from 1865 to 1958, which is quite a run. Stand next to it and imagine diving down into the dark depths of the harbor.

Explorer Tom Bombing of the North Strand in County Dublin has a permanent audience of seagulls who think they're the main event here. They scream about it all day while the locals just shrug and carry on with their lives. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted. It might be.

Explorer Tom Burning of the Custom House in County Dublin was a bargain gone wrong with fire involved. It looks dramatic from a distance, which is good for photos. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.

Explorer Tom Another Bigleaf Maple in County Dublin, this one pretending it doesn't know I'm here. It’s probably posting about its 'roots' on social media, acting like a deep thinker when it's just a tree. Bring your own legend, I've run out of facts for you.

Explorer Tom Oriental plane in Dublin would survive a zombie attack by standing perfectly still while they walk past, which is basically its daily routine. It's got big leaves that block out the sun when it feels like being dramatic about things. Go in good boots and better humour because this one is wild.

Explorer Tom O'Donovan Rossa is a round plaque set in granite, which Saint Patrick would have probably called 'overkill' while trying to drive out all the snakes from his own monument next door. He’s just standing there looking grumpy because nobody brought him a proper cup of tea or a decent story to cheer him up. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom Fusiliers' Arch in County Dublin would bring a very stiff military salute and a strong opinion about the Boer War to any party. It used to be called Traitor's Gate, which is a great name for a grumpy uncle. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous.

Explorer Tom James Joyce is having a massive feud with the next village over something incredibly daft, like who invented the best sentence structure. He’s basically a giant statue judging your vocabulary choices from across the park. Pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming.