Castle Caldwell

Explorer Tom Castle Caldwell in Rossbeg hears everything you whisper to your mates. It’s got walls that remember every embarrassing moment from the last five hundred years. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted by how much you don't know.

Explorer Tom Castle Caldwell Forest was once the escape route for a lord who owed too many debts. He ran through here with nothing but his dignity and a sandwich. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom C17th church & graveyard at castle caldwell is where a poet fell in a ditch and wrote a bad sonnet about it. The ghosts are probably still arguing over the copyright. Have a look and decide if I was lying about the drama.

Explorer Tom Gravelly Island was once ruled by a goat who wore a tiny crown made of seaweed and demanded tribute in the form of stale bread crusts from passing fishermen. The goat probably still thinks it’s the boss, even though it’s just a rocky bump that gets ignored by everyone else on the map. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.

Explorer Tom Muckinish is incredibly proud of its ability to smell like damp socks and ancient secrets, which is quite an achievement considering how little it actually does. It thinks it’s mysterious, but really it just looks like a big green cushion floating in the middle of nowhere else. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Inishkeeragh Bridge is being picked on by the wind because it forgot to pay its membership fees to the local breeze club. It looks like it’s leaning over to whisper a secret to the water below. Hang around long enough and you'll hear a story from a local.

Explorer Tom Cliffs of Magho is deeply suspicious of the postman who always drops letters near the edge. It thinks he's trying to hide contraband in the cliff face. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Old Man's Head would handle a reality show like a pro, probably winning by doing absolutely nothing all day. He’s got that calm energy that makes everyone else look frantic. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.

Explorer Tom Stone Figures in Caldragh Graveyard: Boa Island in Dreenan once had a fox take full charge of the graveyard for a week. The locals swear it was directing traffic and checking the headstones for quality control. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.

Explorer Tom Tully Customs and Excise Patrol Station has a wooden sign that looks like it’s shouting at the border. Built around 1930, I wonder if the officers yelled 'Stop!' in English or Irish while checking for smuggled chocolate bars.

Explorer Tom Belleek Pottery in County Fermanagh is writing its dating profile right now: 'I make pretty blue things, I’m slightly pretentious, don’t mind.' It’s a heritage spot that thinks it’s way more fancy than a local pottery really needs to be. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Battle of Belleek, also called the Battle of the Erne Fords, took place at a River Erne crossing near Belleek on 10 October 1593. Hugh Maguire's defenders faced Henry Bagenal's English Crown force. I want to point at the exact ford, but that would be Tom bluffing: this marker shows the general area, and no battlefield boundary has been surveyed.