Callan Heritage Trail

Explorer Tom Allied Irish Bank in Callan South has a list of former names longer than my last relationship. It stands tall with round-headed openings that match the market house next door. Practise your Irish on it, it might just nod back at you.

Explorer Tom Steps in Callan South gave up sugar for Lent but kept the iron railings because they taste better. They’re made of limestone and think that makes them ancient wisdom, not just a way to climb hills. Toast it with a cup of tea and move on.

Explorer Tom St. Augustines Well would ace a job interview with zero preparation. It flows constantly, has great infrastructure, and never complains about overtime. The friars loved it, but I think it prefers tourists. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.

Explorer Tom St. James Well on Mill Island hosted patterns until the early 1900s. I bet a goat once ate the priest’s hat right off his head. Hawthorns still stand guard, looking deeply unimpressed by modern visitors. Have a wander and a wonder.

Explorer Tom European ash has a very strong opinion that local sheep are just fancy, woolly mice that eat too much. The sheep agree and keep their distance from the trunk to avoid awkward conversations. Leave nothing but footprints and a bad pun.

Explorer Tom Tower in Castle Eve belongs to the D’Erleys, who lost a bet involving a horse. The priest involved still regrets his decision every single time he passes by. Perfect place to be dramatically windswept, trust me on this one.

Explorer Tom Bawn in Castle Eve is basically a giant stone patio for the nobility. It would order the double chips with extra gravy and no questions asked. Take a breath of that air, it's older than your car definitely.