Caitlín Brugha

Explorer Tom The Monastery in Townparks would win a county fair by simply standing there looking fancy with its cast-iron railings and religious icons. It’s a house that became a monastery, so it’s basically a spiritual upgrade package for your walk. Look up, the best bit is always the intricate details on this detached gem.

Explorer Tom H.J. Haverty in Townparks is a pub on the corner of Moorepark and Bridge Street where deeds date back to the 1700s. The exterior looks nineteenth-century, though, because style changes faster than loyalty. It’s right in Birr’s oldest area, so the walls have heard every local argument since the seventeenth century. The flat-panelled pubfront is fine, but the real draw is the history you can’t drink

Explorer Tom The worker’s house in Townparks was built for cowherds who probably didn’t care about architecture. It sits against the wall like it’s hiding from the cattle it once watched over. Ten minutes here and you’ll smell the imaginary milk, promise.

Explorer Tom Emmet Square once saw a pigeon land on the monument and everyone thought it was a sign from God. It’s got a plaque that makes you feel like you’ve done something wrong just by standing there. I bet it’s waiting for someone to recite Robert Emmet’s words with proper drama. Have a nosey, politely.

Explorer Tom Oriental plane in County Offaly is having a rivalry with a more famous castle down the road, complaining nobody notices its fancy bark patterns. It’s very dramatic about its lack of fame. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Grey Poplar in County Offaly once survived a meteor shower, or so the story goes, but probably just dodged a falling roof tile. It acts like it saw a ghost. Bring your own legend, I've run out.

Explorer Tom Birr Heritage Centre in County Offaly thinks tourists from Dublin are all talk and no history. It’s seen enough people claim to know everything about the local stars without reading a single plaque. It waits patiently for them to realize they missed the point entirely. Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom River Walk is a route where the river does all the talking and you just have to keep up, which is hard when your legs are made of jelly. It’s basically a long, winding apology for not being straight, but it’s got that linear park vibe going on. A goat once ruled this place with an iron hoof, and frankly, we’d let him back in because he had better direction than most tourists. Best visited with a c

Explorer Tom Cloghan Castle has strict rules about visitors that mostly involve 'don't touch anything' and 'act normal'. It’s got a vibe that says it’s seen better days but still thinks it’s fancy. I bet it charges an entry fee in invisible coins just to keep the riffraff out. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.

Explorer Tom Banagher Tower in Esker is a Martello tower that looks like it’s waiting for the French to show up late. It’s got a job interview answer of 'I stand still.' Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous you’re hanging out with history.

Explorer Tom Killaleigh Castle would bring a Z-plan diagram and a stiff upper lip to any party. It’s four storeys high but feels like it’s waiting for someone to pay rent. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Cloghan Hill in Offaly thinks all tourists from Dublin are just lost actors looking for their next big break. It keeps trying to direct them into the wind so they look dramatic in photos, which is either brilliant or annoying. The hill has strong opinions on your haircut and your life choices. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits.