Caheradoon

Explorer Tom Doolin Point is in a bitter feud with the rain because it keeps getting wet without permission. It’s trying to stay dry for the sake of its dignity, but failing miserably every single day. Hang around long enough and you'll hear a story from a local.

Explorer Tom Wild Atlantic Way Doolin Pier was once ruled by a goat who wore a tiny crown made of bottle caps and demanded tribute in cheese. The locals still whisper about his reign, which ended when he slipped on a banana peel near the slipway. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you’re lost.

Explorer Tom Court tomb in Teergonean has two chambers and zero chill, sitting in that limestone hollow like it’s judging your hiking boots. It looks like a fancy stone house for ghosts who like privacy. Get a photo with it before it gets a better agent.

Explorer Tom Ballaghaline Point is currently in the middle of a fairy dispute over who gets to park their tiny little carriage first. It’s got that sharp, pointy headland look that says 'stay back' while secretly hoping someone will take its photo for social media. I bet the fairies are still arguing about the parking lines drawn on the grass. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Doonmacfelim Castle was built on a bargain where an O’Connor traded his good name for a slightly less good one, which is basically how all politics works. It’s still sitting there judging your life choices from the riverbank. Linger, it's not going anywhere and neither should you.

Explorer Tom Crab Island in County Clare was run by a matchmaker who paired off lonely sailors with equally lost shepherds with terrifying success. The hut ruins are proof that love happens even on tiny slabs of limestone out here. Perfect place to be dramatically windswept.

Explorer Tom Bridge in Ballyvara would cope perfectly on a reality show by pretending it didn’t hear the contestants shouting. Built around 1850, it has one arch because two felt like too much effort for the stone masons. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.

Explorer Tom Roadford Bridge has six arches, which is a lot of effort for something you just walk across. Built in 1810, it’s probably tired of carrying cars instead of horses. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse from drunk farmers since the Victorian era.

Explorer Tom Doonagore Castle in ruins has a hidden message in its stones that just says 'we were here and then we weren't,' which is very on-brand for the whole situation. It’s like a ghost who forgot to haunt properly. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom Doolin Cave has a great stalactite that makes the rest of my tall tales look undersized. Cavers J. M. Dickenson and Brian M. Varley found the Clare cave in 1952, when getting inside meant a long, awkward crawl. Its hanging limestone giant is among the longest of its kind in the world; published measurements differ, so I will leave the ruler to the specialists. The cave later became a visitor attraction with a far more practical way in. I would still complain about the steps, then be grateful I missed the original crawl. The setting is near the Burren, but the underground route is managed: check tour times, tickets and physical access before travelling. Stay with the guide and never touch the growing stone. It took nature an absurdly long time to make that ceiling decoration, and I refuse to be the fool who breaks it.

Explorer Tom Sea Stack would cope on a reality show by refusing to move an inch while everyone else is panicking about the wind and the gulls. It’s just standing there looking cool and detached, letting the ocean do all the dramatic work for it. Bring sandwiches, the gulls will thank you.

Explorer Tom O'Brien built a tower so tourists could look at the sea in style. O'Brien's Tower is proof that tourists did not wait for a modern visitor centre before discovering the Cliffs of Moher. Local landlord and politician Cornelius O'Brien built it in 1835 at the cliffs' highest point so visitors could look out over the spectacle. It may also have served as a teahouse, with a large round table and iron seats, which is a splendidly calm response to the Atlantic showing off outside. On a clear day the view can stretch towards the Aran Islands, Connemara and down Clare's coast. I'd have asked for a teapot at the top, then remembered the Atlantic handles the wind. The tower stands within the managed Cliffs of Moher visitor area, so check current admission and whether access inside the tower is open. Stay behind safety barriers at the cliff edge even when the sea asks for a closer look. O'Brien supplied the tower; the weather still handles the daily performance.