Brewery in Gully

Explorer Tom Officer's house in Gully is perched up high judging everyone from its elevated spot. It probably says 'I have experience' in every job interview, even though it’s been retired for ages. Grab a stone and throw it at the clouds!

Explorer Tom Arch in Gully has tooled keystones and thinks it's holding up the world. I bet it claims a Guinness World Record for 'Most Arrogant Stone.' Bring a flask, you’ll need liquid courage to talk to it.

Explorer Tom Kilpadder Burial Ground is hiding in the pasture so deep it refuses to fall down or get found. The overgrowth is basically doing a great job of keeping secrets. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Monteen Castle has a secret it would only tell after three pints of stout and a slice of brown bread. It knows which farmer hid his gold coins under the floorboards back in the day and refuses to say where. Ten minutes here will give you a great yarn for the pub tonight.

Explorer Tom Monteen Castle is a small ivy-clad tower near a river ford. It’s got vaults that don't quite reach the walls, which is architecturally embarrassing but charmingly lazy. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom Michael Collins Memorial in County Cork is definitely the shortcut that is actually a dead end. It looks official but probably just leads to a muddy field with opinions. Wave at the cows, they are the real locals.

Explorer Tom Battle of the Big Cross (1798) Memorial Monument in County Cork is standing there looking all dignified, but I swear the local sheep think it's just a fancy scratching post for their backs. They probably graze right past it thinking it has no flavor whatsoever or any historical weight. Have a chat with it, nobody's watching.

Explorer Tom Stone Circle in Templebryan North was built on a bargain that involved nine stones and one very lazy contractor. Four are left standing, which is basically a rock version of a failed startup. Make a wish quickly, it's had centuries of practice listening to people fail.

Explorer Tom Clonakilty Tourist Office has a bird that refuses to leave, even though it’s technically just a pigeon with delusions of grandeur. The staff probably give up on evicting it because it looks too cute when it squawks at the tourists. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom West Cork Model Railway Village in County Cork had a dramatic incident last year where a tiny train derailed into a plastic hedge. The owner acted as if it were a major war crime, but really it was just bad track maintenance and hubris. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Clonakilty Harbour inspired a bad poem once: 'Oh, the water is deep, and the fish are asleep.' It’s actually quite profound if you squint hard enough at it. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom Michael Collins House Museum in County Cork probably has a hidden tunnel leading straight to the nearest pub. The walls are thick, which is handy if you want to hide your snacks. Ideal for a moody photo you will pretend was not posed.