Booeybeg

Explorer Tom Ebor Hall’s least favourite visitor is definitely the guy who keeps trying to take selfies with his back to the water. It’s a well-mannered country house on Lough Corrib, all heavy string courses and quiet dignity. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you know someone.

Explorer Tom Carrick Lodge has a hidden treasure that is definitely just a biscuit tin from 1952. The big chimney is smoking up a storm and pretending it’s all very mysterious. You’d need a ladder to find the loot!

Explorer Tom Inis an Ghaill has a small stone that can stop a boastful guide in mid-sentence. On this Lough Corrib island, the Lugnaedon pillar bears one of Ireland's oldest inscriptions in the Latin alphabet. Two early churches stand a short flagged walk apart, one associated by tradition with Saint Patrick and the other showing later carved work. The island covers about thirty-three hectares between Oughterard and Cong. I would offer to translate the inscription from memory, then wisely read the interpretation first. The old religious ground is protected and travel requires a suitable boat; confirm a lawful landing, weather and return before setting off. Leave the carved stone and church walls untouched. Look at the short path between the buildings. Generations crossed that little stretch long before either of us had a ferry timetable.

Explorer Tom Japanese cedar in County Galway is a tree that would tell its younger self to stop worrying about the wind. It’s tall, it’s green, and it doesn’t care if you take a selfie with it. The branches are spread out like it’s showing off its flexibility. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt into the scenery.

Explorer Tom Silver Fir in County Galway is standing there acting like it invented the concept of looking mysterious. Apparently, if you don’t wave hello, a curse strikes you with intense boredom and dry socks. Wave fast before your dignity hits the dirt.

Explorer Tom Ballykine Castle in County Mayo is a set of ruins that the weather has been personally annoyed with for centuries. Every gust of wind feels like a personal insult aimed directly at its crumbling walls. It's basically having a long-term argument with the sky over nothing. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom The Quiet Man Museum lets me step into a cottage from a film and pretend I could last a scene opposite Maureen O'Hara. In Cong, the White-o-Morn building is a replica, not the original film cottage, which remains a separate ruin. Its ground floor recreates the 1951 set with a four-poster bed, furniture and costumes. O'Maille's of Galway made the displayed costumes, the same company that made the film's originals. Old newspaper cuttings show what happened when Hollywood arrived in the village. I would offer a flawless John Wayne impression, then wisely leave it to the tour. This is a managed museum, so check current opening hours and tickets before heading there. Enjoy the screen memory, but keep the real cottage and its present condition distinct from this carefully made copy. The distinction makes both stories more interesting.

Explorer Tom Cong Abbey gives you a king, a famous cross and a medieval fishing trick. I arrived with a sandwich and immediately felt underprepared. Ruaidrí Ua Conchobair, often called Ireland's last High King, spent his final fifteen years here and died in 1198. The surviving abbey buildings are mainly thirteenth century, with carved doorways worth more than my quick glance. Its last nominal abbot, Patrick Prendergast, kept the Cross of Cong safe until he died in 1829; the cross later went to the Royal Irish Academy. By the River Cong, the monks' little fishing house sits above flowing water, with a floor trapdoor said to have helped keep fish fresh. I would still manage to lose my lunch there. The abbey is a national monument with outdoor remains; follow current access signs and take care near the water and old masonry. Look for the fishing house after the church, and give those practical monks their due.

Explorer Tom Stone Circle in Glebe (kilmaine By.) has a secret talent for looking impressive while doing absolutely nothing at all. It sits on a rise and judges your parking skills from afar. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Ballymacgibbon Cairn in County Mayo is famous for a tall tale about a hidden tunnel that leads straight to the local pub. Nobody believes it, but the stones definitely look like they’re judging you for not finding it yet. Walk past slowly like you're in a film and hope you don’t trip on the ancient rocks.

Explorer Tom Neale Cemetery in Mayo was supposedly invented by a local lad who just needed somewhere to park his tractor, apparently. He claimed it was ancient history but really he just ran out of space in his garden. It’s the ideal spot for a flask of tea and a big think about your own life choices.