Blanket Bog

Explorer Tom The builder who made Oughtmore was really just thinking about lunch when he decided to pile that much dirt in one specific spot. He probably fell asleep mid-project and woke up to find everyone clapping for his accidental masterpiece of geological confusion. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.

Explorer Tom Craigagh Hill in County Derry used to be run by a matchmaker who had absolutely zero sense of humour or personal space for everyone else. Now it just stands there looking vaguely embarrassed about all the failed relationships that happened on its slopes. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?

Explorer Tom Moydamlaght Forest in County Derry is playing hide-and-seek with me, and I suspect it’s winning by a landslide because there's barely anything to find! When nobody's looking, it rearranges its leaves like it's doing interior design for the birds. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom St Columba's Church in Straw thinks Dublin tourists smell like overpriced coffee and bad decisions, which is fair enough. It was built in the 1840s to ignore them specifically. A good place to forget your phone for ten minutes.

Explorer Tom Craig-na-Shoke in County Derry is a cliff known as Eagle's Rock, probably because an eagle once got its hat stuck there and refused to leave. I reckon it took forty cups of tea to build this view for us. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Goles Stone Row would say in a job interview that it has excellent alignment skills and can observe the rising moon without any extra equipment. It’s basically a very ancient, very serious team player who just wants to get back to its rituals as soon as possible. Perfect place to be dramatically windswept.

Explorer Tom Presbyterian Church in Draperstown claims to be older than the hills, which is a lie because the hills were here first. It’s just being dramatic for the rain. Perfect place to be dramatically windswept and pretend you’re brooding.

Explorer Tom Banagher Glen - Forest Trail in County Derry was once taken over by a fox who thought he was the forest ranger, and honestly, he did a better job than most humans. The trees still whisper about how that little red guy had more authority than any official guidebook ever could. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.

Explorer Tom Lough Fea in County Derry has strict rules for visitors, the main one being that if you drop your phone in, it becomes a permanent part of its collection. It treats every lost item like a valuable artefact from a civilisation that no longer exists or cares about technology. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Ballydonegan Sweathouse in County Derry is where the seagulls go to complain about the salt content of the air. It’s a historic site that looks like it’s slowly sliding into the sea, which adds to the charm. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Altkeeran Waterfall’s New Year's resolution was to flow a little bit faster next year. It’s basically just a river rushing to get to the sea before dinner time. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically an expert now.

Explorer Tom These Beaghmore Stone Circles brag about surviving a massive storm in 1920 where every other rock nearby got knocked over. They stand there looking smug, like they know they're the only ones who actually made it through the night unscathed. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.