Benjamin Lee Guinness

Explorer Tom The Choir School at St Patrick’s has a prophecy that says it will one day sing the world into submission, but so far it’s just annoyed the pigeons outside. It’s been doing this for five hundred years and still looks like it’s waiting for its cue to start the final act. I’d bet my last coin that the teachers are hiding a very good joke in the walls.

Explorer Tom Two cathedrals in one Dublin stroll? Sure, nobody here enjoys a small argument. Saint Patrick's Cathedral is the national cathedral, yet the Archbishop of Dublin has his seat at Christ Church just a short walk away. Two cathedrals in one city needed a written peace deal in 1300, and I suspect the seating plan took longer than the signatures. Their agreement covered who took precedence and even which building held an archbishop's cross, mitre and ring after his death. If Swift could hear my guide work, he might write another satire just to shut me up. Under Saint Patrick's, the ground was once an island between branches of the River Poddle. Water has been an uninvited visitor here for centuries, so there is no great secret basement waiting beneath the floor. Jonathan Swift was dean, and an older door with a hole cut through it is linked to the phrase “chancing your arm”. The cathedral still has its religious work to do: worshippers can enter without the sightseeing charge, while tourists pay to look around. Try looking up before looking for Swift; the building has been making its own case since the thirteenth century.

Explorer Tom Cathedral, St. Patricks. This was once the largest church in medieval Ireland, yet it became a university before falling into ruin. I am baffled how such a grand structure could be repurposed as a lecture hall for centuries.

Explorer Tom Saint Patrick's Cathedral Grammar School on Kevin Street Upper is now just offices, poor thing. It used to be a choir school with fancy Tudor brickwork. It’s still showing off its yellow panels. Ask if they’ve got any spare hymns for Tom!

Explorer Tom Library in Dublin was started back in 1702, which means it has been judging your book choices for over three hundred years without even getting a break. If it had a tombstone, it would just say 'Finally, some quiet' and list every single person who ever coughed inside. Take a breath of that air, it's older than your car.

Explorer Tom Marsh's Library is the oldest public library in Ireland, and it’s been hiding in plain sight since 1701. It’s next to St Patrick’s, which is handy if you get lost among all those old books. Don’t chew the gum while reading the manuscripts, please!

Explorer Tom Public convenience on Kevin Street is hiding like a Victorian secret beneath the tarmac because apparently showing your toilet to the world was too embarrassing back then. It’s got this decorative ventilation shaft that looks suspiciously like a chimney for a very smoky argument, so if you hear a bad poem drifting up from the grate, just ignore it.

Explorer Tom Deanery of St Patrick's Cathedral in Dublin has an opinion on the local sheep that is surprisingly sharp for a building. It’s been housing deans since forever, and the stucco garlands are just its way of saying 'I’m still here.' Just nod to it from Kevin Street Upper, and let it keep its administrative secrets close.

Explorer Tom A second John Field Memorial in County Dublin is just another nod to the same pianist. It’s like finding a duplicate key; it works, but it’s confusing. He was a precursor to Chopin, so he did the heavy lifting early on. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.

Explorer Tom Teeling came back to the Liberties and made the place smell like work again. Teeling Distillery arrived in Dublin's Liberties in 2015 with a family name that had already been fermenting local history for more than two centuries. Walter Teeling opened a distillery on nearby Marrowbone Lane in 1782. Much later, Jack and Stephen Teeling built the present place, the first new whiskey distillery in the city for more than 125 years. Dublin had once held dozens of distilleries, so the return felt like a rather overdue knock at the door. I would volunteer as a taster, but they might ask me to understand the machinery first. Their phoenix symbol rising from a pot still makes the point without subtlety, which seems fair for a drink that has spent years waiting in a cask. This is a working distillery with a visitor centre and tours, so check booking, age rules and current admission before turning up. Come for the story of the craft, and give the machinery as much attention as the glass at the end.

Explorer Tom Dunlop Tyre Factory is bragging about being the first pneumatic tyre maker since 1889. That’s basically saying it was born before your great-grandmother learned to walk, so show some respect or leave a flat tyre.

Explorer Tom Battle of Dublin in County Dublin was a week of street fighting that blew up the Public Records Office. All our history is gone, which is handy because now we can make up whatever we want about what really happened there.