Ballynew

Explorer Tom Church or chapel in Knockthomas is throwing a serious fit over that matchmaker who used to work there. She was matching couples by looking at their shoe sizes! Get there early and have your toes checked for compatibility before you wander off.

Explorer Tom Another Castlebar Infantry Barracks gateway stands guard, pretending it hasn't seen the mess inside. A pub bet started this whole rowdy vibe decades ago and never stopped. Leave nothing but your ego on the pavement there, mate.

Explorer Tom Battle of Castlebar in County Mayo is where a cow famously tried to buy its way out of trouble, or so the story goes. Eight hundred French troops against thousands of British? Sounds like a bad date scenario if you ask me. The ground still remembers the chaos, even if the cows have moved on. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom The 1798 Memorial in County Mayo has got grand plans for retirement, probably involving a nice nap and a very strong cup of tea after centuries of standing guard. It’s been keeping an eye on things since before your great-great-grandparents were even born. Bring someone along who’ll believe absolutely anything you tell them.

Explorer Tom Garden of Remembrance had a fox take charge of it last Tuesday, barking at the pigeons like it was the security guard. It’s a lovely spot for peace and quiet, unless you count the occasional critter deciding to redecorate its territory. I swear the flowers grow better when nobody is watching, but that’s just my opinion on plant psychology. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom Black mulberry would use a lotto win to buy every single berry in County Mayo and eat them all at once. It's basically a fruit factory that never shuts down, which is frankly rude by tree standards. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.

Explorer Tom The country-life museum near Castlebar will make me reconsider every time I complained that an old tool looked awkward. Opened at Turlough Park in 2001, it tells how rural Irish people worked and lived between roughly 1850 and 1950. Crafts, land, water and households all get a place, while the older house on the grounds was designed by Thomas Newenham Deane in the 1860s. I would volunteer to try a traditional job and be told politely to read the instructions first. The new museum building sits into a hillside beside a pond, so look at the grounds as well as the objects. Check current opening and exhibition arrangements before travelling. Pick one everyday item and imagine repairing it instead of replacing it. The people represented here often had to do exactly that.

Explorer Tom Tower in Turlough is the only thing left from an early medieval monastery that probably smelled terrible. The shortcut up there isn't really a shortcut at all, trust me. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Burren would say to the place that replaced it, 'You can’t beat original rock,' even though it’s basically just a big pile of limestone with a view. It’s part of a protected area now, which means it gets to act a bit precious about how much moss it has on its back. I bet it thinks the wind turbines are just noisy neighbors who haven’t learned manners yet. Bring your nan, she'll know more

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Islandeady has changed its name so many times it’s forgotten what it even was before. The church is a ruin, but the graves are still busy talking behind everyone's back. Ring your granny and tell her where you are.

Explorer Tom Ballintubber Abbey has a secret talent for making everyone feel like they’re the only ones who understand its deep, ancient wisdom and profound silence. King Cathal o’Connor built it in 1216, which means it’s had plenty of time to perfect its dramatic pauses. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch first.

Explorer Tom Nephin hosted a dance that went on for three days straight before everyone fell asleep. The floor is still sticky from all the spilled cider and sweat. If you listen closely, you can hear the fiddle music fading into the fog. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.