Ballylehane Castle

Explorer Tom Rathaspick Church is showing off its Georgian Gothic pinnacles like it hasn't lost a roof yet. It brags about surviving storms that would flatten a tent, but honestly, it looks more tired than a Sunday. Perfect spot to practise your best tour-guide voice.

Explorer Tom Gracefield in County Laois would give the new development next door a withering look, if it had any eyes left. A gate lodge from 1817 that knows exactly how posh it used to be. Have a chat with it, nobody's watching.

Explorer Tom Bawn in Ballyadams has an imaginary fan club of very serious historians who never show up. It’s just a wall, but it pretends to be a whole kingdom. Take a breath of that air, it's older than your car.

Explorer Tom Ballyadams Castle nearly got sold off as a premium horse in one of its earlier incarnations, which is wild when you think about it. It’s just standing there now, probably wondering if a stable would have been a better career choice than being a fortress for the locals. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Holy well in Ballintubbert would teach history by splashing you with water every time you mention the wrong century or the wrong saint. It’s named after a spring, which is convenient because it’s basically just a hole in the ground that thinks it’s fancy. Have a nosey, politely.

Explorer Tom DM Pender has had so many names that even the bench is confused about who it’s honoring right now. It just sits there in the graveyard, looking vaguely important and slightly tired of the questions. Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom Pedunculate Oak in County Laois is sick of people asking if it’s haunted; it’s just got bad weather in its branches. It’s not spooky, it’s just messy. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted. It might be.

Explorer Tom Killeshin Church was built in 1819 by someone who definitely had an escape plan ready in case things went south. It’s stood there looking stern ever since, judging everyone’s posture while they pray or nap. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom Font in Killeshin is the hero nobody remembers who saved the day. It’s got a tiny hole on top, probably for a very specific type of hat. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard.

Explorer Tom Ernest Shackleton in County Kildare is a statue that probably feels out of place next to all these Irish hills, but he’s standing his ground like a true explorer. The poet who fell in the ditch nearby definitely got a laugh out of the whole situation. Bring your worst joke, the place has heard worse.

Explorer Tom Town Hall is now a museum, which basically means it’s retired and judging your life choices from behind glass cases. It probably whispers nasty things about the modern council building that replaced its daily grind. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans whatsoever.

Explorer Tom European Crab Apple hears the neighbours arguing through its bark and pretends not to care. It produces tiny, sour fruit that no one wants but everyone respects. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown.