Ballycurrin Castle

Explorer Tom Ballycurrin House is hiding a smuggling story about barrels of whiskey that got rolled down the hill by mistake. The locals still whisper about it whenever someone looks at the garden in the wrong way. Tell it a joke, it’s been quiet for far too long now.

Explorer Tom Ballycurrin Lighthouse saw the most dramatic event when a seagull dropped a fish directly onto a tourist’s head, which was technically a miracle. It was also the only time anyone admitted the lighthouse had good aim. Now it’s just ruins that are very proud of their one hit. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard.

Explorer Tom Court tomb in Carrownakib is very ruined and has strong opinions on modern buildings. It’s just stones near Lough Corrib now. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you’re in a fancy oil painting.

Explorer Tom Abbeyglen Castle Hotel thinks it's a proper old fortress, but it's really just a fancy hotel pretending to be mysterious while serving overpriced breakfasts to people who don't know where they are. The local pub landlord swears he invented the whole castle himself just to get a tax break on his beer stock last Tuesday evening. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Annaghkeen Castle in County Galway is sitting on the shore like it owns the whole bay. A Burke held it back in 1574, but I bet he just wanted a spot for his boat. Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom Call Ross Errilly an abbey and somebody in Galway may forgive you, but the friars would ask where you found their abbot. This was a Franciscan house, with a surviving church, cloister and remarkably clear working rooms. Find the kitchen: it had an oven and a tank for keeping fish alive. I can barely keep a loaf from burning, so fair play to their planning. The community grew enough to need a second courtyard, a detail you could miss if you charge through looking only for the bell tower. Ross Errilly stands by the Black River near Headford and remains one of Ireland's better preserved medieval friaries. Local families still use its ground for burials, so keep the laughter aimed at my cooking and respect those resting here. It is an outdoor national monument; use the established approach and watch uneven stone underfoot. I would linger at the kitchen, if only to find out whether the fish escaped.

Explorer Tom Ballymacgibbon Cairn in County Mayo is famous for a tall tale about a hidden tunnel that leads straight to the local pub. Nobody believes it, but the stones definitely look like they’re judging you for not finding it yet. Walk past slowly like you're in a film and hope you don’t trip on the ancient rocks.

Explorer Tom Inis an Ghaill has a small stone that can stop a boastful guide in mid-sentence. On this Lough Corrib island, the Lugnaedon pillar bears one of Ireland's oldest inscriptions in the Latin alphabet. Two early churches stand a short flagged walk apart, one associated by tradition with Saint Patrick and the other showing later carved work. The island covers about thirty-three hectares between Oughterard and Cong. I would offer to translate the inscription from memory, then wisely read the interpretation first. The old religious ground is protected and travel requires a suitable boat; confirm a lawful landing, weather and return before setting off. Leave the carved stone and church walls untouched. Look at the short path between the buildings. Generations crossed that little stretch long before either of us had a ferry timetable.

Explorer Tom Ashford castle in County Galway is a viewpoint where the water reflects the grass so clearly it looks like a mirror trap. The first owner’s escape plan was definitely to jump into the lough, which was either genius or very stupid. It’s a calm spot that tells its own story better than I do. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.

Explorer Tom Japanese cedar in County Galway is a tree that would tell its younger self to stop worrying about the wind. It’s tall, it’s green, and it doesn’t care if you take a selfie with it. The branches are spread out like it’s showing off its flexibility. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt into the scenery.

Explorer Tom Silver Fir in County Galway is standing there acting like it invented the concept of looking mysterious. Apparently, if you don’t wave hello, a curse strikes you with intense boredom and dry socks. Wave fast before your dignity hits the dirt.

Explorer Tom Cong Abbey gives you a king, a famous cross and a medieval fishing trick. I arrived with a sandwich and immediately felt underprepared. Ruaidrí Ua Conchobair, often called Ireland's last High King, spent his final fifteen years here and died in 1198. The surviving abbey buildings are mainly thirteenth century, with carved doorways worth more than my quick glance. Its last nominal abbot, Patrick Prendergast, kept the Cross of Cong safe until he died in 1829; the cross later went to the Royal Irish Academy. By the River Cong, the monks' little fishing house sits above flowing water, with a floor trapdoor said to have helped keep fish fresh. I would still manage to lose my lunch there. The abbey is a national monument with outdoor remains; follow current access signs and take care near the water and old masonry. Look for the fishing house after the church, and give those practical monks their due.