Ardmore Island

Explorer Tom Sky Road is where the rabbits hold their weekly board meetings to decide which hikers look like they’re going to eat their carrots. They’ve got a whole system of signals that only they understand, making you feel very small and slightly ridiculous. Bring a map, get lost anyway, that's the fun.

Explorer Tom Quay or wharf in Drimmeen is made of massive limestone blocks that survived a storm in 1991, proving it’s tougher than your ex. It protects boats for locals, so treat it with respect and maybe a little jealousy. Find the wonkiest bit and take a pic.

Explorer Tom Clifden Coastguard Station is in a bitter feud with the rain over who owns the best view of Clifden Bay. The building was burned down in 1922, so it’s basically a smoky, grumpy uncle who still thinks he’s in charge of the waves. Scream at the horizon for me!

Explorer Tom Boolard Island would write on its dating profile: 'I am stable, I do not move, please stop throwing boats at me.' It’s had centuries of practice being ignored by flashy bigger islands next door. Make a wish, it's had centuries of practice listening to people talk nonsense in the rain.

Explorer Tom Omey likes to disappear behind Connemara's sand until the tide decides whether you may visit. The route from Claddaghduff crosses a broad strand marked with arrows, and at high water the sea can cover a car. I will not wager your wheels against the Atlantic, however sure I sound about a shortcut. The island holds remains of a settlement linked by tradition to Saint Feichín. Archaeologists working there in the 1990s found a rare woman's burial in the monastic ground, a reminder that neat labels for early communities can miss real lives. There is also a well associated with the saint. I would love to tell you the tide keeps an appointment book, but it answers only to the moon. Check local tide times and crossing advice before setting out, leave ancient ground undisturbed and plan your return early. Omey can have its island time; you still need the road home.

Explorer Tom Toberfeheen in Gooreen is on an island, which means it’s got great separation issues and a solid excuse for being moody. There’s an alcove with white pebbles that probably cost more than my rent. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call based on the wind.

Explorer Tom The Strand is known to rearrange its own pebbles when nobody’s looking, just to see if anyone notices the subtle changes it makes. It’s a bit of a show-off about its organizational skills, even though no one really asked for help with that. Tell the next person you meet it's haunted. It might be.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Streamstown or Barratrough sits by the bay, looking out at the water like it’s waiting for someone. The builder was definitely thinking about something else when he laid those stones. Go at sunset and thank me later.

Explorer Tom Mannin Bay in County Galway nearly made it big when a shipwreck almost happened there in 1847. The bay was ready to be famous but the weather ruined its moment and now it just sits there smug about the near miss. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom Tristaun's inscribed stone is sitting on a knoll, looking incredibly smug about how illegible its writing has become after only two hundred years of being outside in the rain. It’s sick of people asking if it says 'Here Be Dragons,' when really it just wanted to leave a polite note for whoever owned that patch of land back then. Tell me if the gossip I made up is true.

Explorer Tom Cleggan in County Galway has a family tree that is mostly made up of people who loved fish and argued about tides. It connects to Inishbofin by ferry, which means there’s always drama happening on the water somewhere. It’s a place with deep roots and even deeper stories. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits.

Explorer Tom Station House Museum in County Galway thinks the road leading to it is the most boring thing since sliced bread. It probably complains about the traffic noise and the lack of proper cobbles every single morning. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face for the photos.