Ardboe Abbey

Explorer Tom Ardboe Church has a prophecy saying a unicorn would land on its roof by next spring, which hasn’t happened yet despite the best efforts of local wildlife. It remains optimistic, though, and keeps polishing its remaining stones in hopes that the beast is just running late. Stop the car, it's worth the hazard lights.

Explorer Tom Pre-norman Monastery, & Later Church & Graveyard: Arboe or Ardboe Abbey in Farsnagh is stuck in a fairy dispute over who gets parking rights next to the gate. It’s seen centuries of monks and muck, so it doesn't sweat the small stuff too much. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom High cross & abbey: ardboe cross in Farsnagh is playing hide-and-seek with me. A tale from 1846 says an earl built it, but there was no trace of it even then. Take a picture for me if you pass!

Explorer Tom Coyle's Cottage is currently hosting a massive fairy dispute over parking rights, with tiny wings flapping and serious legal threats being made from behind the door. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Salter’s Castle was named after a guy who probably overcharged for salt. The village site is where he likely argued about parking rights with a goat. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom Salters Castle Ruins would win a county fair for 'Most Dramatic Decline' or 'Best Looking Mess.' It’s basically a pile of rocks that thinks it’s still protecting something important from invaders. Bring a map, get lost anyway, that's the fun, and let your imagination fill in the missing walls.

Explorer Tom The Coagh ambush was built on a bargain where the loser gets to keep the shoes. Everyone pretended not to notice the bad deal until the shots started. Hum something sad nearby, it adds atmosphere.

Explorer Tom Portal tomb: cloghtogle in Tamlaght, Tamlaght has a secret celebrity friend who was actually a very grumpy Viking chieftain. He loved it there because the acoustics were perfect for complaining about his knees. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Coney Island in County Armagh would probably post a selfie of the winter sun through the trees and caption it 'vibes' if it had thumbs to type with. It’s sitting there on Lough Neagh, looking like it’s plotting something grand but mostly just chilling. Go with someone who loves old stuff and watch them melt.

Explorer Tom Maghery Country Park in County Armagh has one least favourite visitor who always brings a sandwich that smells strongly of garlic and old socks from three days ago. The park tries to hide this person in the bushes so the rest of us do not have to smell it ourselves. Ten minutes here and you will have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom A local bloke swears he invented this milepost in his garage during the millennium party, but the RBS says otherwise. Number 94 is just a post that thinks it’s a landmark for some reason. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Cranfield Church & Holy Well ended up in the wrong place because the original builders got drunk on the spring water and forgot which side of the hill they were supposed to be on. Now it’s stuck there looking confused, like a dog that wandered into the wrong garden party. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me.