Anthony Durnford

Explorer Tom Locals swear if you whistle at Lough Allen, a ghost will row your boat in circles until you apologise properly. It’s basically a giant puddle with an ego and a grudge against swans. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom Sliabh an Iarainn calls itself the iron mountain and has the old workings to back up the name. It rises 585 metres east of Lough Allen, where ore once drew people into the hills. Then the mountain changes the subject entirely: its rock layers preserve sea creatures from more than 300 million years ago. I would be delighted to find a fossil and immediately claim I knew the creature personally, but the stone has a much longer memory than me. Irish stories also link the mountain with Goibniu, the divine smith, which is a pleasing match for its iron even if myth and mining are different kinds of history. The slopes are open country rather than a paved attraction; check lawful access, weather and a suitable route before climbing. Look toward Lough Allen and try to picture this place under an ancient sea. The hill is older than even my best excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Saint Hugh's Catholic Church in Drumnafinnila saw a love story go terribly wrong next door. The stained glass still looks confused about the whole mess, honestly. Have a chat with the stones if you dare.

Explorer Tom Bencroy’s favourite song is definitely 'Bohemian Rhapsody' because it has too many voices and none of them can agree on the key. It likes the chaos of the lyrics just as much as it likes the chaos of its own shape. Ring your granny and tell her where you are.

Explorer Tom Sweat house in Knockacullion is where Irish people went to sweat out their rheumatism without complaining too loudly. The seagulls say it smells like wet wool and ancient secrets. Have a nosey, but keep it polite.

Explorer Tom Black Poplar has a secret it would only tell after a few pints of stout. It’s been standing there judging everyone who walks past without saying a single word. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost.

Explorer Tom European Ash would order a large chipper with extra gravy and no vegetables. It’s a heritage tree that looks like it’s about to drop a leaf on your head. Count the crows, then count again.

Explorer Tom Scardan Waterfall has an unlikely celebrity friend who visits every so often to check in on the water flow and make sure it’s still looking its best for the photoshoots. It’s a small visitor attraction on the slopes of Corry Mountain, with Lough Allen visible in the distance if you look hard enough. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom Arigna Mining Experience is playing hard to get in County Roscommon, acting like it’s the coolest museum since sliced bread when it’s really just a hole with lights. I’m claiming it as my own and planning a housewarming where we all pretend to dig coal out of thin air. Bring your own pickaxe and your own sense of humour.