Angelo: North Channel

Explorer Tom Dally Bay is a landing point that would absolutely give a nosey neighbour the middle finger if it had hands. It’s just there, waiting for boats that never seem to bother turning up anymore. Stand back, squint at the rocks, and pretend you see a castle in your head.

Explorer Tom Portobello is an Iron Age promontory fort that was apparently built on a bargain no one remembers the terms of. It sits by the water looking smug, as if it knows exactly what the locals are whispering about over their tea. The name sounds fancy, but it’s really just a rocky outcrop with strong opinions about who gets to stand where. Stand on the spot and imagine the gossip it's heard.

Explorer Tom Castle Ban in Dumfries and Galloway is handling its nosey neighbours by simply not building walls high enough to hide the view, which is a bold strategy. It’s got that medieval motte look but feels more like a very serious hill that decided to be a castle for fun. The whole place is just going, 'Come closer if you dare,' while the rocks wait for you to slip. B

Explorer Tom Castle Ban Motte is having a total identity crisis because nobody can tell if it's a castle or just a very ambitious hill. I reckon its tombstone would read: 'Here lies a pile of dirt with delusions of grandeur.' Leave nothing but footprints and a bad pun.

Explorer Tom Port Gavillan is where Saint Patrick would have said 'it's decent enough for a quick stop', likely while checking his map and looking confused. It’s got that coastal farm vibe that makes you feel like you’re standing on the edge of something important. Hang around long enough and you'll hear a story from a local.