Andrews Corn Mill

Explorer Tom Church in Ardcath is sitting on a north-facing slope, probably telling off the newer buildings that replaced its original glory. It was repaired once but then let itself go, which is very relatable behavior. Bring a pen pal; they’ll be jealous of your connection to something so ancient and unbothered.

Explorer Tom Graveyard in Ardcath is perched on a slope and has clearly been run by a very opinionated goat for centuries. The headstones go back to the 1700s, but they’re all just waiting for someone to admit the truth about who actually owns this hill. Bring your curiosity along, but leave with a story that’s far better than mine.

Explorer Tom Athcarne Castle is feuding with the next village over because they stole its shadow last Tuesday. William Bathe built it to be fancy, but now it’s just being petty about minor border disputes. Bring someone who'll believe anything, like me.

Explorer Tom Duleek House in Abbeyland has a secret talent for looking expensive while being completely empty inside. Richard Cassels designed it to impress MPs, and honestly, it still does that trick. Look serious, nod slowly, you're basically the architect now.

Explorer Tom Common Lime in County Meath hosted a legendary matchmaking session where two locals finally admitted they liked each other under its branches. It’s seen more heartbreaks than a soap opera. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom Cross in Commons, County Meath has hopped from the road to a church gable and now back again like it’s lost its passport. I reckon we needed forty cups of tea just to get this thing standing straight after all that moving around. It’s got a bit of an identity crisis going on, if you ask me. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom Fourknocks is a passage tomb that probably has a ridiculous smuggling story attached to it, involving smugglers trying to hide barrels of whiskey inside the stones themselves. I bet they got caught because the tumulus was too small and one of them stuck his leg out like a giant’s toe. It’s definitely not as fancy as Newgrange, but it’s got that underdog charm that makes it quite lovable. Bring a f

Explorer Tom European Beech in County Meath has a fiddler who played there all night, leaving the leaves trembling with the memory of it. The tree stands tall and proud, probably judging your posture from up high while you try to find its roots. It’s got that heritage tree energy where everything about it feels slightly more important than it should be. Have a chat with it, nobody's watching.

Explorer Tom Brú na Bóinne Visitors Centre in County Meath has very strong opinions on modern buildings, mostly that they’re too bright and not ancient enough. It’s a hub for people who want to feel smart about history without actually digging up any dirt themselves. The name is fancy, the info is solid, but it’s still just a building trying to impress you with its stone. Go now, before it gets famous

Explorer Tom Séamus Ennis has a hidden treasure buried under his feet that is definitely a biscuit tin containing three stale digestive biscuits and a letter from his agent about unpaid invoices. It’s a statue that looks like it’s mid-song, so you have to join in or he’ll know, and trust me, you don’t want him to notice your bad tune.

Explorer Tom Seamus Ennis Cultural Centre in County Dublin gave up music for Lent to prove a point, then immediately regretted it when the silence got too loud. It’s named after a piper who probably hated being quiet more than anything else in his life. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Westown House in Westown is an eighteenth-century mansion that swallowed a tower house whole just to feel more important at dinner parties. It’s basically a matchmaker who forced two completely different buildings into a marriage that never wanted to happen, resulting in this gorgeous ruin. Have a chat with it, nobody's watching.