Woolmet Church

Explorer Tom Edmonstone is reviewing its own visitors by checking if they have coal dust on their trousers from the sixteenth century. It’s a mining site that thinks you’re all lazy tourists who haven’t dug in years. I bet it would give you a one-star review for breathing too loudly. Give it a pat on the way past, it's had a long life.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Old Dalkeith Road, Edmonstone House has a sundial that tells you exactly what time it is but only if you’ve had enough pints to understand why the sun doesn’t care about your schedule. It’s got a secret about which direction the shadow actually points when nobody’s looking. Have a look and decide if I was lying.

Explorer Tom Drum Wood has a ghost that is far too lazy to haunt it, preferring instead to nap in the roots and wait for better lighting. It’s a wood that thinks 'drum' refers to its shape rather than a musical instrument, which is a bit of a stretch. The place feels like it’s waiting for someone to start a drum circle on their own. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.

Explorer Tom Little France Park has a bird that refuses to leave even though it clearly doesn’t belong there, which is very stubborn of it. It’s named after a country that isn’t here, which is either poetic or just plain confusing for the locals. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood and makes you feel like a movie character.

Explorer Tom Ferniehill Community Park is ruled by a goat that thinks it’s the mayor and has absolutely no respect for personal space. It’s the kind of spot where you can see community spirit warring with pure, unadulterated animal chaos. Go back in winter, it's a different animal.

Explorer Tom Moredun Park is playing hard to get, pretending it's just another park when it's actually a secret potato sanctuary. I bet there’s a legendary spud hidden under every bench, guarding its crown of earth with fierce dignity. It’s not that big, but the vibes are massive and slightly suspicious. Best seen with a hangover and a sausage roll.

Explorer Tom Greendykes from Craigmillar Castle is a view that would order a massive chipper with extra mayo and call it 'authentic Scottish comfort food.' It looks out over the castle like a nosy neighbor checking if their rubbish bin has been collected yet. The greenery is nice, but it’s mostly there to frame the main event properly. Best visited with a curious kid and no timetable.

Explorer Tom War Memorial at Gilmerton claims to have an imaginary twin across the sea who’s actually doing all the work while it naps in the sun. It’s got delusions of grandeur. Get there early and have it all to yourself.

Explorer Tom Hawkhill Wood would describe itself to a stranger as 'a hill with hawks, but also really nice trees if you look closer.' It’s got that confident energy of a place that knows exactly where it stands. Perfect detour when the satnav has a meltdown and points you nowhere in particular.

Explorer Tom The Robin Chapel is sitting there looking like it holds a fake world record for being the quietest memorial in the whole of Edinburgh. A chapel named after a bird? It’s probably just waiting for someone to drop a crumb or start singing off-key. Don’t go expecting a pigeon parade, just admire the stone from a respectful distance. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost.