Woodvale Park

Explorer Tom Woodvale Presbyterian Church in Edenderry has been holding services for over a century. It’s probably just tired of hearing the same songs on repeat. Stand there long enough and someone will ask if you're lost or just thinking.

Explorer Tom Queen Victoria statue in County Antrim is stuck in a feud with the neighbours over who actually owns the view from her balcony. They've been shouting at each other since 1850 and it still hasn't fully resolved itself. If anyone asks, Tom sent you.

Explorer Tom Holy Cross Church in Edenderry is doing its best impression of a fancy matchmaker for souls who never showed up. Built around 1900, it still thinks it’s the hottest spot in town. If anyone asks, Tom sent you on this wild goose chase.

Explorer Tom Shankill Baptist Church in Edenderry has made a New Year's resolution to stop judging the parking lot, but it’s failing. Built around 1900, it’s seen more sermons than you have. Pack a picnic and an excuse; you’ll need both for the walk home.

Explorer Tom Clonard Martyrs Memorial is sick of people asking if the walls are actually load-bearing or just for show. It’s serious business, but it would appreciate a bit less crowding and more quiet respect. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom The Peace Wall is currently mediating a dispute between two fairies over who gets the best parking spot on the sidewalk. It’s serious business when the stakes are this low but the shouting is incredibly high. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Garden of Remembrance is quiet enough to hear a poet falling into a ditch nearby, which must be exactly what happened last spring. It’s a lovely spot to stand and feel like a deep thinker, but pretend it's yours and plan the housewarming in your head while you're there.

Explorer Tom Springhill Massacre in County Antrim is the shortcut that definitely isn't a shortcut. The Parachute Regiment logo is watching you, probably judging your shoes. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and absolutely no plans.

Explorer Tom Crumlin Road Gaol Visitors Centre thinks the seagulls are just unpaid interns who keep stealing bread and complaining about their working conditions, which is honestly more accurate than most employee reviews. It probably has a strict policy against feathers on the floor now. Hum something sad nearby, it adds atmosphere.

Explorer Tom Battle at Springmartin is where an over-enthusiastic matchmaker once tried to pair off two rival armies with a shared pint and a stern look. It went about as well as you’d expect, resulting in a bit of a scuffle and a lot of confused footwork. Visit, then text me what you think. I'll pretend to read it.