Witches' Well plaque

Explorer Tom Edinburgh Castle Esplanade from the battlements is where everyone stops to look impressive while pretending they know exactly what they’re doing. The rules for visitors are basically ‘don’t fall off and don’t touch the old bits’ if you want to stay alive. Have a quiet chat with it, nobody’s really watching anyway.

Explorer Tom The former Tolbooth Church is sick of being asked if it’s haunted by actual ghosts or just bad plumbing. It’s a tricky one because half the time you can’t tell the difference. The building has that 'please don't touch me' energy that makes you feel guilty for looking. Bring sandwiches, the gulls will thank you.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, 13, 14, 15 and 16 Ramsay Garden: This tenement nearly made the news once because a pigeon landed on number fifteen, but nobody checked if it was special. It’s just four numbers in a row that look like they’re waiting for a plot twist to happen. The bricks are solid but the vibe is purely speculative. A proper spot for a flask of tea and a big think.

Explorer Tom 78th Highlanders Memorial in Edinburgh is a cross that probably makes a weird humming sound at night when the wind blows just right through its arms. I bet it sounds like a bagpipe trying to tune up for a concert that nobody wanted. It’s got a lot of history packed into one stone shape, so you have to respect the noise it makes in your head.

Explorer Tom The Scotch Whisky Experience in Edinburgh is playing hide-and-seek with me. A tale from 1846 says what it does when nobody's looking: it counts its bottles and gets jealous of the gin shop. It’s probably plotting a distillation revenge scheme. Bring sandwiches, the gulls will thank you.

Explorer Tom Castle Wynd North is just a street that thinks it’s a fortress because it’s narrow and grumpy. If it went to a party, it would bring a ladder and complain about the ceiling height. It’s got the energy of a cat stuck in a hedge. Pack a picnic and an excuse.

Explorer Tom Mound Place, New College has a cobbled road and a midden where the ghost is too lazy to haunt because he’s still asleep in the archive. It’s basically a pile of old rubbish that thinks it’s historically significant just because it’s next to fancy buildings. The cobblestones are probably complaining about all the tourists stepping on them incorrectly every single day. Pop by and tell it it's looks

Explorer Tom Camera Obscura & World of Illusions is having a massive drama with the nearest tree because it looks better in photos. The building claims to be the star of the show and wants the tree moved. It’s quite the diva, really, especially on cloudy days when its reflection is dull. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.

Explorer Tom Colonel Mackenzie Statue in Edinburgh is standing with such authority that I’m convinced there’s a curse on anyone who doesn’t wave at him respectfully. If you walk past without a little 'hello, sir,' your socks might switch sides overnight or something equally annoying. It’s the kind of statue that makes you feel like you’re entering a very serious office meeting unannounced.

Explorer Tom Welcome to Johnston Terrace Wildlife Reserve in City of Edinburgh smells like wet cardboard mixed with ambition, according to my very sensitive nose. It’s a little patch of green that thinks it’s a jungle, but honestly, it looks more like a garden that gave up after three days. The wildlife is mostly pigeons who haven’t read the welcome sign yet and are just vibing on their own. Stand

Explorer Tom Johnston Terrace Garden is rumoured to have a hidden tunnel that leads straight to the nearest pub, but nobody can find the entrance. The flowers are all pretending not to know, acting very innocent while the secret tunnels beneath them get deeper. It’s a nature reserve that really wants to be a social club, and I respect that ambition. Find a local, ask them the real story, then come back and deb

Explorer Tom Royal Mile Johnston Terrace is having an identity crisis, claiming to be a fancy visitor centre while wearing a plain t-shirt. If it went for a job interview, it’d say ‘I bring enthusiasm’ and then trip over its own shoelaces. It’s basically the world’s most confused concierge. Great spot to propose, or at least to propose lunch.