Vladimir Lenin

Explorer Tom Belfast Telegraph Offices in Town Parks was once searched by Vikings who got lost looking for it because they were trying to find a place where words could be sold like fish. They eventually gave up and went back to the sea, leaving behind only a very confused-looking rune carved into the front door as proof of their visit. Make up your own legend and I'll swear it's true.

Explorer Tom Rinty Monaghan in County Antrim is hiding secrets in its stones that only the truly obsessed can read. I swear if you press your ear against it, you'll hear a ghost complaining about the local parking situation. Pop by and tell it it's looking well.

Explorer Tom Central Library in Belfast is Grade A and has an imaginary fan club of people who love the smell of old paper and quiet corners. It’s been there since the 1880s, collecting books faster than it can lend them out. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits.

Explorer Tom Royal Avenue in County Antrim made a New Year’s resolution to stop being so full of itself. It broke it by three o’clock when a tourist took a selfie leaning on its wall. Ideal stop for a big stretch and a bigger yawn.

Explorer Tom Northern Ireland War Memorial in County Antrim holds the fake world record for being the most serious-looking stone on Talbot Street without actually doing anything. It’s got more history packed into its corners than a library full of forgotten diaries. Stick around for the light changing, it's a show.

Explorer Tom 1972 Donegall Street bombing is having a fit because someone left a pizza on its doorstep in 2009. The street’s trying to hide behind that fancy dome, but it’s still shaking. Stick around for the light changing, it’s a show.

Explorer Tom McGurk's Bar bombing had a New Year's resolution to stop getting blown up, which it managed to keep for exactly three weeks before losing its nerve again. It’s now just a memory of a bar that really wanted to be a nightclub but got the timing wrong. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom St George's Church in County Antrim had a feud with the next village over whose spire was taller. They’ve been glaring at each other across the fields ever since, arms crossed. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Belfast Castle in Town Parks is named after Belfast, which I think means 'white fort,' or maybe 'bad hair day.' I’m not sure, but it’s definitely a C17th legend. Bring biscuits, every good story needs biscuits.

Explorer Tom Dr James McDonnell is probably complaining to the council about the parking fines and the lack of respect for his legacy. He’s just a stone, but he’s got the energy of a retired teacher. Take a mate and argue about what it was for.

Explorer Tom Thomas Russell has a tall tale about a hidden tunnel that leads straight to the pub downstairs, saving him a five-minute walk every night. It’s a memorial with a bit of a secret life, and I’m convinced he’s still sneaking out the back. Bring the dog, it'll have opinions.

Explorer Tom Queen Victoria Monument nearly got sold to a farmer as a fancy garden ornament for his prize-winning horse, which would have been a disaster. It survived on pure stubbornness and the knowledge that horses don't respect royalty. Have a nosey, politely.