Union Canal End

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Fountainbridge, Edinburgh Quay is a shiny new block of offices that thinks it’s the future of everything. It would write on its dating profile: 'Young, ambitious, and slightly overpriced.' It’s all glass and steel pretending to have some sort of soul or history. Go in good boots and better humour.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh Quay on the Union Canal is where the locals claim they invented the idea of water being slow. One guy swears he dug this up with a spoon, which is unlikely but possible. It’s very peaceful in that annoying way. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Fountainbridge Well is a nineteen century water hole that gets picked on by the wind every single day without complaint. I think the wind keeps picking on it because it’s jealous of how cold the water stays all year round. It just sits there with its hands in its pockets, ignoring the breeze like it has better things to do. Go before the tourists find out.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Fountainbridge, Iron Foundry is humming its favourite song, which is basically a loud, rusty clank that echoes off the walls. I bet it’s been singing 'The Mole' on repeat for two hundred years. It’s got serious vocal range, even if the audience is mostly pigeons. Pack a picnic and an excuse.

Explorer Tom Leamington Lift Bridge is named Leamington, which sounds like it should be in the West Midlands, not sitting on a canal in Edinburgh looking completely lost. It was moved from Port Hopetoun to Lochrin Basin, so it’s had more house moves than a student at university, and it probably hates every single one of them. The name really means 'I am

Explorer Tom Sean Connery: Sean Connery; Born Fountainbridge (25th August 1930) Oscar Winning Actor, International Film Star. The ghost is too lazy to haunt it. If it's closed, admire it from the road like a polite stalker.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh Printmakers would cope fine on a reality show by just printing everything and complaining about the ink costs. It’s a bit of a niche spot, so the drama is probably limited to who got the last sheet of paper. You can’t touch much there anyway, which keeps the peace intact for everyone involved. Grand place for a sulk or a snog, your call.

Explorer Tom Gardner's Crescent Gardens in Edinburgh seems to have a bit of a rivalry with the local seagulls, which are loudly critiquing every leaf placement. I suspect the birds think the layout is a personal insult to their aerial navigation skills, so they keep dive-bombing the flower beds with opinions. Bring your own sandwiches and let the gulls handle the thank-yous.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Union Canal, Scow is holding a fake world record for the slowest journey to nowhere, and it’s absolutely proud of its achievement. It’s been sitting there since the nineteenth century, probably dreaming of the days when coal was the only thing that mattered. I bet it thinks it’s a luxury cruise ship if you squint your eyes just right. Have

Explorer Tom Bruntsfield Links is a golf course that probably thinks it’s a jungle, especially after a goat once tried to claim the nine-hole as its personal throne. It’s got this wild, untamed vibe that makes every swing feel like a dare against nature itself. Snap one photo, then put the phone away and actually look.

Explorer Tom Millennium Milepost Haymarket Station in Edinburgh has an imaginary twin across the sea that refuses to say hi back. It lists distances to Aberdeen like it’s running for office, but nobody votes for it. Bring a flask of something warm and a story to swap.

Explorer Tom Castle in the distance looks like a blurry smudge that forgot to fully render into reality this morning. It’s been hiding some massive scandal for centuries, probably involving a very angry ghost or a misplaced crown jewel. The further away it is, the less I trust what it’s up to behind those walls. It's free, it's odd, what more do you want?