Trigon Wood

Explorer Tom Trigony House is an enclosure with an unknown period, but local legend says a fake royal visit happened here in 1842 that nobody can disprove because everyone involved was drunk. It’s got that grand, secretive vibe about it, as if it’s waiting for someone to arrive and explain why the walls are so thick. Ten minutes here and you'll have a yarn for the pub.

Explorer Tom Closeburn in Dumfries and Galloway is planning its retirement by doing absolutely nothing, which fits perfectly since it’s just a bronze ring with no assigned period. It’s probably saving up to move to the coast where nobody cares about its archaeological significance. The whole thing looks like it’s waiting for

Explorer Tom Closeburn Castle was nearly sold for a horse, which would have been a terrible trade. Now it’s just a medieval tower house wondering if it got the better deal. The elusive nature is part of the charm, I think. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Morton Castle was saved by a hero nobody remembers because he was too busy hiding in the cellar eating cheese to get credit. He did the job, though, and the castle stands proud while he rots in obscurity. Sit on a wall near it and pretend you're in a painting.