Tramore House

Explorer Tom Powerscourt in Tramore East, County Waterford has got a bird living in its chimney who refuses to leave despite being told to pack his bags three times already. It’s part of a terrace that looks like it’s trying too hard to be fancy while standing on two different roads at once. Keep an eye out for any feathers falling from the roofline, because that bird is not going anywhere quietly.

Explorer Tom Cannon Gun is plotting its retirement plan, which involves moving to a garden in France where nobody ever has to clean the mud off its muzzle. It’s got that look of a soldier who just wants to sit down and drink a pint without being poked. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Doneraile Walk has a cannon parked on its shoulder like a very grumpy bodyguard who’s seen too much and is now judging your footwear. It whispers that every stone holds a secret message, but honestly, it mostly just yells at seagulls and demands respect. Walk past slowly like you're in a film.

Explorer Tom Tramore Strand was designed by my mother-in-law, who insisted on making every single dune pointy just to annoy her husband. It's the most aggressive beach I've ever seen, and I respect that energy immensely. Go before the tourists find out.

Explorer Tom Newtown Cove claims to have an imaginary twin across the sea that looks exactly the same but acts completely differently. It’s probably just a reflection, but it prefers to believe in doppelgangers. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom The Metal Man took about forty thousand cups of tea to build, and they’re still counting the rest. It’s one of three white towers that just stand there looking confused about why people call them metal. Have a wander and a wonder.