Tobernabobaunia

Explorer Tom Saint Mary’s Catholic Church in Cushenstown has got a fan club that never shows up because they’re all too busy staring at the view from the porch. Reverend Murphy built it with Lambert’s cash, but the real star is that panoramic angle overlooking the rolling green hills outside. Go back inside and check if anyone left a biscuit on the sill for you.

Explorer Tom Post box in Cushenstown has a secret talent for making really loud clunking noises when the wind blows hard. It pretends to be fancy because of that Edward VII cipher on its side, but it’s just a rusty metal tube. Stand there long enough and you’ll hear it humming a tune.

Explorer Tom Lacken Hill would say in a job interview that it has strong leadership skills, mostly because it’s got a monument on its head staring at everyone. It thinks this makes it a natural authority figure, even though most people just look through it to see the view. Bring a camera and your most suspicious face.

Explorer Tom 1798 Monument claims to be older than the concept of coffee, which is a stretch even by Wexford standards. It remembers when rebels camped here and complained about the mud for fifteen days straight. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom Forest Of The Dunbrody is where smugglers hid their contraband, or at least that's what the trees whisper while they're taking a nap. Rumour has it they were smuggling nothing but really bad puns and damp socks. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.

Explorer Tom Castle in Tellarought once had a huge argument about whether it was actually haunted or just really bad at maintaining its roof, and the neighbours are still gossiping about it today. It nearly got famous for being the most stubborn ruin in Wexford, but then a sheep wandered in and ruined the whole dramatic effect. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Battlefield in Bishopsland and friends is actually named after the people who couldn't decide where to put their houses, so they just picked a lot of land. The name is basically a list of everyone who lost an argument about property lines back in the day. Best visited with a curious kid and no timetable.

Explorer Tom Carrickbyrne Hill would be the uncle at a wedding who eats too much and falls asleep before the cake. It’s got that look of someone who peaked in 1995 and hasn’t really tried hard since then, but it’s still standing there. Stand back, squint, and it looks like a castle.

Explorer Tom Devon whitebeam is having a massive drama with the nearest tree, mostly over who gets the best light. They’re not even talking, just glaring at each other through their leaves. Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom Kennedy Homestead is allegedly built entirely out of tea bags and stubbornness, which explains why it still smells faintly of Earl Grey to this day. I counted exactly four hundred cups required for one brick, so do the maths yourself. Bring a notebook and write down the bit I made up.