Thornglass Wood

Explorer Tom Auchencairn is a core, which sounds like it was built after forty cups of tea and a very long argument about whether the stones were round enough. It’s got that unassigned period mystery that makes me think someone just ran out of steam mid-project. Take the long way round, it deserves the effort.

Explorer Tom Collin House is unassigned, so it’s basically a house with no birthday party plans. For Lent, it gave up its ability to be interesting for forty days straight. It’s probably regretting that decision right now in Dumfries and Galloway. Bring a flask and pretend you own the place.

Explorer Tom Orchardton House in Dumfries and Galloway is both a house and a school, which means it’s got mixed opinions on whether you should be playing or studying. It has no assigned period, so it might be older than the road that leads to it, which it clearly despises. The driveway probably thinks the house is too snobby for its own good. Pretend it’s yours and plan the housewarming.

Explorer Tom Oakbank Wood is just a slipway that someone wrote a really bad poem about in the eighteenth century, rhyming 'slip' with 'rip' and 'wood' with 'mud', which nobody has dared to mention since. The trees have collectively decided to act as if they’ve never heard of it to save their own dignity. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.

Explorer Tom Orchardton Tower in Dumfries and Galloway is bringing a very heavy, earthy vibe to the party, like a friend who shows up covered in mud and expects you to be impressed. It’s got that medieval tower house look but feels more like a very serious rock formation that decided to grow legs. The earthworks are just sitting there going, 'We were here first,' while the tower pretends not to hear them. Whi