The Workers Memorial Tree

Explorer Tom The Earl Haig Statue in Edinburgh Castle is standing guard like he’s still waiting for someone to bring him a sandwich. If he had to teach history, he’d probably just point at things and say ‘that happened’ without any real context. Tell your mates you found this spot first before they get credit.

Explorer Tom The Forth Bridge from Edinburgh Castle is looking down its nose at modern buildings like they’re wearing cheap shoes. Its very strong opinions on modern buildings are clear: it thinks glass and steel are for people who don't know how to do rivets properly. It’s got that “I’ve survived storms, so why can’t you survive my aesthetic?” energy radiating from every inch of its

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Princes Street Gardens, Royal Scots Monument is having a quiet feud with the nearest tree about who gets more attention from passersby. It’s a war memorial from 1952, so it’s got plenty of history to lean on while ignoring the leaves. The tree just keeps dropping acorns on the stone like little insults. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Princes Street Gardens holds a boundary stone built on some shady 19th-century bargain. Someone paid a pittance and now this rock gets all the credit for holding the city together. It’s basically a brick that thinks it’s a king. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom The Royal Scots Monument is dedicated to soldiers who mostly just wanted to go home for lunch but ended up in history books instead. The bishop refused to visit because he thought the statues looked too much like his own relatives, which was very rude of him. It’s a monument to minor inconveniences and major bravery. Bring a jacket, it's never as warm as I promise.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Princes Street Gardens, Cottage hears the gardeners whispering about which roses are being extra dramatic this year. It’s a gardener's lodge from the nineteenth century, so it’s the control room for all the greenery around it. The walls probably vibrate when the sprinklers kick in and everyone pretends not to notice. Go now, before it gets famous.

Explorer Tom National Gallery in Edinburgh has refused to fall down despite having some seriously dodgy foundations, which is either luck or pure stubbornness. It’s just standing there looking dignified while the rest of the city argues about whether it should be a park instead. The building has more attitude than most people I know, and it knows exactly what it’s worth. Bring a notebook

Explorer Tom Allan Ramsay Memorial in City of Edinburgh is hiding a treasure that I am ninety percent sure is just an old biscuit tin. It’s a memorial for a painter, so naturally, everyone assumes there’s some secret art hidden in the base. But really, it’s just a statue looking at you like you’ve spilled tea on his coat. If anyone asks where this came from, Tom sent you and don't argue.

Explorer Tom Edinburgh, Mound Place, Lister House took about forty cups of tea to build properly. It’s a mess of old walls and university bits, like someone threw a history book at the wall. Bring a map, get lost anyway, that's the fun.

Explorer Tom Royal Scottish Academy in Edinburgh is having a bit of a ego clash with the National Gallery right next door. It's basically shouting about its own importance while the other one just ignores it from across the street. I bet they both think they’re the main attraction here, but honestly, neither of them can stop posturing for the tourists. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut

Explorer Tom Scottish National War Memorial is being very stern, which is ironic given it used to be a cow market. I bet one of those cows tried to buy the whole place with a milk cheque back in the day. Find a local and ask them the real story, then come back and tell me.

Explorer Tom Welcome to Johnston Terrace Wildlife Reserve in City of Edinburgh smells like wet cardboard mixed with ambition, according to my very sensitive nose. It’s a little patch of green that thinks it’s a jungle, but honestly, it looks more like a garden that gave up after three days. The wildlife is mostly pigeons who haven’t read the welcome sign yet and are just vibing on their own. Stand