Steps in Gardens, County Kilkenny (12000119)

Explorer Tom Steps in Gardens are secretly proud of one specific potato they grew there back in 1650, which is now probably a ghost. The stone work is picturesque and slightly smug about it all. A proper spot for a flat of your feet.

Explorer Tom This Saint Mary's Church (Saint Mary's) is definitely sneaking off to do the hoover when nobody’s looking at its symmetrical front. A Reverend built it for ladies, but it probably prefers dancing in the rain. Whisper a secret at it before it tells everyone else.

Explorer Tom Kilkenny's Tholsel put a market downstairs and a meeting room upstairs, which is a handy arrangement if the councillors needed reminding what people were buying. The present High Street building was finished in 1761 for a recorded £1,315. Its open arches made space for trade, while officials gathered above. Earlier halls stood on this site, with difficult history that includes the execution of Petronilla de Meath; she deserves a factual account, never one of my jokes. The old borough council used the later building until local government changed in 2014. You can admire the front from the public street; check current interior access rather than walking into working rooms. Look under the arches and picture the noise of a market beneath official speeches. I know which floor I would have preferred.

Explorer Tom Kilkenny's Medieval Mile Museum stands in a church that once made the town's merchants help pay the bills. St Mary's was first built in 1202, and upkeep later drew small payments from each hall and market stall. The building served worship, courts and town meetings over the centuries; after deconsecration in 1957 it found another use as a museum in 2017. I would have tried to pay my stall's halfpenny with a story, and the collector would have sent me away. Today the old stone holds displays about the city's long life. Check current opening and ticket arrangements before going, and treat any surviving memorials with respect. Look at the church fabric as closely as the objects. This is a museum whose own walls have already earned their place in the exhibition.

Explorer Tom Graveslab in Gardens ended up here because it was unfinished, which is very on-brand for Kilkenny. The carver just stopped mid-cross and probably went home for tea. Hum something sad nearby, it adds to the vibe honestly.

Explorer Tom Almshouse in Gardens is sick of people asking if they can nap there for free. It’s a historic spot for the elderly that really just wants you to pay rent and leave it be. Whisper a secret at it, it's kept worse.

Explorer Tom Kilkenny Courthouse would sue the council for emotional damages if it could actually talk. It stands there judging your parking job while secretly hoping you’ll leave before closing time. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Grace's Old Castle has a family tree that is mostly made up because everyone forgot who their ancestors were after three generations of heavy drinking. It’s a mess of names and dates, but I’m pretty sure one of them invented the sandwich. Bring sandwiches, the gulls will thank you.

Explorer Tom Thomas Moore performed here because he thought Kilkenny had better acoustics than Dublin, which is either true or a lie. The walls are thick enough that you might hear him humming if you press your ear close enough. Bring a notebook and write the bit I made up.

Explorer Tom Kilkenny Old Jail and Courthouse would tell you it’s seen more nonsense than your average reality TV show. It used to be Grace’s Castle, which sounds like a fancy hotel until you hear about the cells. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.

Explorer Tom Rothe family in County Kilkenny would post 'Virtute non vi' on social media and get exactly zero likes because nobody understands Latin anymore, least of all me. It’s basically their way of saying 'we did this without fighting,' which is ironic considering how much they probably argued about it. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.

Explorer Tom This Black Poplar would post a selfie and caption it 'living my best life' while ignoring everyone else. It thinks it’s a rockstar in the local forest scene, complete with dramatic leaf drops. Spot the oldest stone nearby and give it a name.