Steil Plantation

Explorer Tom Nether Keir is just one tree, but it acts like it’s the last of its kind, giving up on Lent by refusing to drop any leaves in January. It stands there looking dignified and slightly offended, as if you’re interrupting a very important conversation with the sky. The whole farm looks peaceful, but this specific tree has opinions about your footwear and posture. Go with someone who loves old stuff

Explorer Tom Boatcroft is where two families fought over who owned the best view of nothing in particular. They probably threw pies at each other just to prove a point about windows. The cottages look like they’re still holding their breath waiting for an apology. Go on a wet day, it suits the mood.

Explorer Tom Siller Stane, Barndennoch is having a bit of a rivalry with the Stonehenge crowd because it’s got a polished axehead and a quern, which is basically medieval kitchen equipment on steroids. It thinks it’s the coolest stone in Dumfries, but honestly, it’s just a very fancy paperweight for history buffs who can’t read. Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom Closeburn Castle was nearly sold for a horse, which would have been a terrible trade. Now it’s just a medieval tower house wondering if it got the better deal. The elusive nature is part of the charm, I think. Best enjoyed with a bag of chips and no plans.

Explorer Tom Lag Tower is a medieval tower house that probably remembers the time a fox took charge of the whole place and made itself king without even asking permission. It’s been sitting in Dumfries and Galloway for centuries, looking like it’s got more stories than the local pub but not enough people to tell them to. The whole place feels like it’s waiting for someone to finally