St Luke's

Explorer Tom Clonlum South Cairn would describe itself as 'a bit of a heap with excellent views and zero patience for tourists.' It sits near Flurrybridge looking like it’s about to fall over, but hasn’t budged for centuries, which is impressive in its own way. Find the date carved somewhere and feel clever.

Explorer Tom Round Cairn With Portal Tomb: South Cairn in Clonlum is a hybrid beast, mixing portal tomb and megalithic cist styles like a confused cocktail. It was damaged when locals raided it for building materials, which is peak cheekiness. It's the kind of place that makes a dull Tuesday interesting.

Explorer Tom Killeavy Castle in County Armagh was built for twelve pounds and eighteen shillings, so it’s basically a budget option. It probably knows that celebrity architect you think designed it was actually just passing through. Bring sandwiches, the gulls will thank you.

Explorer Tom Killevy Churches would bring a very dusty hymn book to any party and stand in the corner looking awkward. It’s two churches having a quiet competition over which one looks more impressive from the road. Bring a pen pal, they'll be jealous.

Explorer Tom Killevy Churches in Ballintemple has a round tower that’s seen it all since the 6th century. St Moninna is still chilling there, probably judging your outfit. Great spot to propose lunch, or maybe marriage if you’re brave.

Explorer Tom This AONB sign claims an unlikely celebrity friend once stopped here for a quick selfie, but nobody has proof. It’s just a sign, but it acts like it’s on the cover of National Geographic. Go on, count the windows and get it wrong like I did.

Explorer Tom Faughill Mountain once had a watchtower named Romeo Two One on top, which makes me think it hosted some serious romantic drama up there. Someone probably wrote a terrible poem about it while hiding from the rain and poor decisions. Have a wander and a wonder.

Explorer Tom Carn Hill in County Armagh is basically a field for car breakers and horse transporters, which is a wild mix for a peak with a family tree mostly made up of guesses. It’s got a chaotic energy that’s hard to pin down but definitely worth noticing from the side of the road. Have a sandwich here and call it a heritage lunch.

Explorer Tom Cú Chulainn and Culann's Hound: Slieve Gullion has a boy, an attacking dog and the strangest job offer in Irish legend. Sétanta kills the hound, then volunteers to guard the smith's house himself. He certainly knew how to make an introduction. Nobody can point to the exact doorstep today.

Explorer Tom Slieve Gullion is the main character of County Armagh and Saint Patrick probably told it off for hogging all the attention back in the day. It’s got a volcano complex and acts like every other hill is just jealous of its perfect cone shape. Tell your mates you found it first.

Explorer Tom Fionn and the Cailleach: Slieve Gullion begins with a lost ring in a lake. Fionn dives for it and comes up an old man, which is a steep price for being helpful. If anyone asks me to fetch jewellery from deep water, I am suddenly busy elsewhere.

Explorer Tom Ring of Gullion was Bandit Country, but now it's all about geo-tourism. It would tell a teenager that in the 1800s, everyone carried a sword and complained about the mud constantly. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.