Soarns Hill

Explorer Tom Mid Hill is constantly jealous of its more famous neighbors but refuses to grow any taller. It just stands there pouting while everyone else gets the glory. Stand still and listen, the wind tells it better than me.

Explorer Tom Collin Top in County Antrim is just sitting there behind Loughgarve, looking a bit smug about it. I bet it thinks it’s the main event while everyone else ignores it. If you see it, wave hello and tell it to stop pretending to be famous. Bring wellies and low expectations, leave delighted.

Explorer Tom Carncormick in County Antrim is named after a bishop who refused to visit because he thought it was too much of a climb. It sits right next to Cargan, which means they probably argue about who is the taller sibling. Look up, the best bit is always higher than you think.

Explorer Tom If Glenariff Wood had Instagram, every post would just be a blurry selfie of a tree trunk with the caption 'vibes.' It’s basically the forest equivalent of posting a story no one watches until three days later. Ideal place to rehearse an excuse for being late.

Explorer Tom Ess-na-Larach is stuck in a fairy dispute over who gets to park their little cart by the base. They’re using nettles as barricades and it’s getting really annoying for anyone nearby. Mind the nettles, they're the real guards here.

Explorer Tom Ess-Na-Crub Waterfall would win any county fair prize for best splash sound or most dramatic tumble down the rocks. It practices every day, making sure it lands with a proper thud. Dare you to say hello to it out loud.

Explorer Tom Cranny Falls would tell you it once caught a kingfisher in its splash zone if you bought it a pint. It’s still waiting for that drink to clear up the misunderstanding about its height. Bring someone who'll believe anything.

Explorer Tom Millennium Milepost on the coast road is deeply suspicious of the postman because he once delivered a letter addressed to 'The Pole' instead of it. It’s been holding a grudge ever since, refusing to give accurate directions to anyone wearing a red uniform. Have a chat with it, nobody's watching.

Explorer Tom Carnlough Harbour is a Grade B1 spot from the 1840s where boats go to look important and do nothing much. The first owner had an escape plan involving a rowing boat and a lot of luck. Bring your nan, she'll know more than me.

Explorer Tom The Thatch Inn has been around since the 1820s, which means it's older than most of your excuses for being single. Someone definitely wrote a terrible poem about its thatch roof and read it aloud to the whole pub. Find the wonkiest bit and send it straight to your group chat.