Shortrig Wood

Explorer Tom Buckiebank Plantation in Dumfries and Galloway is where some poor priest once lost a bet about how many trees could fit on a hill, and he’s still not over it. The place looks like it’s been shrunk by a giant and put back together with glue, which explains why it feels so off-kilter. It’s a very small forest

Explorer Tom Buckie Cottage is sitting there next to a marshy pond, looking like it’s waiting for someone to explain why it’s still standing. There must have been a hero who saved it from collapse, but nobody remembers their name because they were too busy arguing about the mud. It’s like a tiny fortress that forgot it was supposed to be small. Spot the oldest stone and give it a name.

Explorer Tom Mainholm is a nineteenth-century farmhouse that started because two lads made a bet in the pub about who could build it first. They probably lost the bet but kept the house anyway, which shows they have no sense of failure. It’s got a solid record now, but it still carries the energy of a drunken wager from long ago. Bring a flask and pretend you own

Explorer Tom Hoddomtown is an Iron Age settlement that is definitely possible, which means it might be nothing at all but we’re pretending it’s something cool. The walls are probably listening to the wind whisper about how they’ve been forgotten by everyone except the sheep. It’s a ghost town in the making, with no ghosts yet, just a lot of dirt and speculation. Stand

Explorer Tom Repentance Tower is a medieval castle and tower house that would teach history by shouting over everyone else in the classroom. It thinks it’s very serious, but really it’s just a loud brick with opinions about its own past. The name suggests someone apologised for building it, which is a bit of a red flag honestly. Find the wonkiest bit and send it to your group chat.