Saint Pauls

Explorer Tom Saint Paul's Church in Clongesh, County Longford has crow-stepped gables that look like they’re trying to climb out of their own roof and go for a walk. It’s got timber tracery that is genuinely artistic, which is rare enough to make you stop and stare. Great spot to propose if you're brave.

Explorer Tom Vent pipe in Townparks stands alone, looking deeply confused. It sits in a graveyard because the bishop refused to visit his own property for some reason. It just vents its frustration into the sky. A good place to forget yo

Explorer Tom Castle Forbes says if it wins the lottery, it’s buying a private island and firing its own staff. The main gate is trying very hard not to look like it’s judging your life choices. Get a photo with it before it blushes.

Explorer Tom Water pump in Townparks smells like old iron and regret, according to my very scientific nose test. It stands opposite Castle Forbes gates like a bouncer who forgot he was working. Bring wellies and luck because this thing has seen some serious village drama.

Explorer Tom Saint Mary's Catholic Church in Townparks does the quiet little dance when nobody’s looking, probably to stretch its joints after all those sermons. The roof got lowered in the seventies, but the spirit remains intact and cheeky. Perfect detour when th

Explorer Tom Saint Michael's Convent of Mercy is all Institutional Gothic and looks like it’s ready to judge your soul instantly. Legend says a giant tried to use the gable as a hat and failed miserably. Leave nothing but footprints, because the nuns will notice everything else.

Explorer Tom Pedunculate Oak in County Longford would have made Saint Patrick want to hide his shamrocks just to be safe from its judgmental gaze. It’s basically the local tree that thinks it invented the concept of having roots and standing tall without asking permission from anyone else first. Great spot to propose. Or at least to propose lunch.

Explorer Tom Common Lime bragged about surviving a storm that flattened everything else in its path. It’s just a tree with an ego problem and great leaves. Bring a friend who talks too much and let the place shut them up.

Explorer Tom Castleforbes does a dramatic moan at midnight that echoes straight into your breakfast toast. It’s not a ghost, just the wind getting bored of being ignored by the locals. Ideal spot for a dramatic phone call.

Explorer Tom Saint Mel's Cathedral in County Longford refuses to fall down because it’s too stubborn to admit it was built by anyone other than itself. It just keeps standing there, judging everyone’s posture and making sure nobody dares to lean against its ancient walls without paying a small fee in respect. Bring a coin for luck and keep it in your pocket.

Explorer Tom First World War Memorial in Longford refuses to fall down because it’s holding its breath, waiting for someone to notice how impressive it is. It’s stubborn like a mule that knows it’s right, even if you can’t see why. Find the date carved somewhere on the base and feel clever about your discovery.

Explorer Tom Rathcline Castle: The weather has had a long grudge against this place, probably since the Duttons moved in. It’s just one stubborn wall holding its tongue about what happened next. Stand where the owner stood and practise looking smug.